Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Yet Another Letter to My Muse

Dear Muse,
As you know, I’m taking a three-day online class on personal development.  One of the assignments was to make and keep a commitment before the next class started tomorrow.   My commitment was to write a letter to you.  Honestly, after the way things went today, I don’t feel like writing anything, but I’ve made my commitment and I’m going to keep it. 
As I said, today was not my best day.  I worked hard to make others happy and they weren’t.  I made a commitment to meet someone who didn’t show.  Because of the time of our meeting and the distance I had to travel, I had to buy dinner for myself, which I didn’t want to do, because I’m trying to be careful with money.  Then, as I was driving home, my “Check Engine” light went on and I have a feeling that’s going to cost me several hundred dollars that I don’t have.. 
Still, this doesn’t mean it was a bad day.  I got time with my girls and I got time with you, though not as much time as I’d like.  I’m grateful for what I got.  I’m grateful that my car got me home at all.  I’m grateful for my health and while I don’t want to go into debt, I’m grateful that I have a way to pay at all.   My options may not be optimal, but at least I have them.  I also have my health, my mind, and my body. 
If I have an obstacle, I will use it like a rock, to climb on so I can have a better perspective.  All that really matters are the goals you’ve given me, and getting my house on the beach.  And even though I said, I didn’t feel like writing, the truth is there’s nothing more I’d rather do than sit in our chair, do my work and express my love and gratitude for you.
Today I was needlessly worried about something.  Your response was to smile and say, “Only you, child.  Only you.”
You laugh at my fears, not because they are funny, but because you know that love is stronger than fear.  So is work.  So is commitment.  So even though I said I don’t want to be here, I not only want to be here, I need to be here.   When my things don’t sell on eBay, or my car breaks down, or I’m fighting fear, delays or other people’s disappointments, or if I have to wait for you, I just remember that the purpose of all battles is to have a victory and that I need to keep my eyes on my goals.  Thank you for reminding me of these things.  It’s only one of the reasons l love you.
So the truth is today wasn’t a hard day.  It had some hard moments in it, but I‘m fine. I’ll be fine tomorrow too.  All I have to do is to Get Started and Keep Going and tomorrow will be fine, too.