Tuesday, June 17, 2014

601


“Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty… I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well.”

Theodore Roosevelt

“Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body.”

Seneca

“The roughest roads often lead to the top.”

Christina Aguilera


Six-hundred-one.  This is my 601st blog.  I’m not going to number them all, but I’m trying to make a point.  Yesterday was a difficult day.  Something sudden, unexpected, and unpleasant happened.  Worse, I have no idea why or how it happened and I have no idea how it will end.  It will probably be fine, but I have no way of knowing that right now.  So I’m fighting fear and uncertainty.  By fighting, I mean I’m not giving into panic attacks.  I’m disciplining my mind to not imagine the worst.  And I’m writing.  I’m doing the thing I’m supposed to be doing.
If the very worst happens, then I’ll Get Started and Keep Going.  I’ll keep writing.  I’ll keep working towards my house on the beach.  At this moment I don’t feel like it.  But what then would I do instead?  Cry?  Fall apart?  Give into despair?  Is that the world I want to create and live in?  I’m not saying there isn’t a time for sadness or grief, but I don’t want to be there for long.  I don’t want to be there at all.  So I’m going to keep writing until my pain goes away.  And if it comes back, I’ll write some more.  Or I’ll do some other work. 
I believe the following:
·      My natural state is one of love, peace, and joy.
·      It takes work to cultivate one’s natural state, just as it takes work to cultivate a plant and keep it healthy.
·      Sometimes I let other people’s pain can affect me.  I have to ability to rise above that and love them without letting their pain or behavior affect me.
I can also accept them for who they are without needing to change them into what I want them to be.  That is love.
I am also reconsidering this question:  What benefit do I derive from being in pain? 
·      Am I looking for attention?
·      Am I trying to confirm my worst fears about my life and myself?
·      Do I like self-pity?
·      Am I trying to avoid my work?
·      Is the Enemy attacking me?

The way to healing is to keep doing my best even if I’m feeling my worst.  So I’m doing my work.  When I’m done with this blog, I’m going to work on other things on my to-do list.  I’m not going to give up and I’m not going to give into despair.  I’m not going to let my imagination take over.  There is too much real life to live.  I don’t have the time or the luxury to create a false one.  It’s time to Get Started and to Keep Going.  Soon I will need to work on 602.