Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Until I Get There

Creativity itself doesn't care at all about results - the only thing it craves is the process. Learn to love the process and let whatever happens next happen, without fussing too much about it. Work like a monk, or a mule, or some other representative metaphor for diligence. Love the work. Destiny will do what it wants with you, regardless.

Elizabeth Gilbert

“Garbage clutters the house that has no dream.”

Mike Dolan

Until I get where I want to be, I have to keep working.  So why do I get tired suddenly as soon as I start writing?  I think the answer to that is obvious.    Or maybe it’s not.  My first answer is that it is the Enemy, my spiritual foe and my self-sabotaging behavior that conspire to keep me from writing.  I could also be genuinely tired.  Still, it doesn’t matter.  I want to write one more blog before I go to sleep.  My goal is still 1,000 so I have a lot of work to do. 
I have a bad habit.  Whenever I think I have a lot of time to complete something, I tend to become lazy.  It goes like this:  I decide that since I have plenty of time, I can relax a little.  Then one of two things happens: I spend too much time relaxing and then suddenly I have to rush.  Or something unexpected occurs that keeps me from getting to my work, and then I have to rush.
It is now June.  I have all of June, July, August, and part of September to reach my goals.  Some of them seem reachable, though they are not completely within my control.  Others I need to work on more diligently.  With regard to one goal, I have no idea how I will reach it.  Still, I’ve done a lot of work this year.  I’ve moved towards my written goals and some of my stated goals.  I’ve added more to my work, and all I can do is be faithful to what I can do and pray for God’s blessing over the rest.
Increasingly, however, I want my house on the beach where I can spend my life with my Muse.  That is my ultimate goal.  It’s very conceivable that it could happen sooner than I imagined.  If it does, I will be one of the happiest people on Earth.  I am imagining it already.  I even have a picture in my head.

My house is small, but it meets my needs.  I spend most of my time there with my Muse.  I take walks and I enjoy cloudy days especially.  The first few hours of my day are dedicated to writing and reading.  I leave when I need to or want to, but most of the time I’m there.  I can hear the ocean constantly.  It’s especially nice at night.  I start cooking again.  I exercise regularly.  There’s even a 7-11 nearby.  It’s perfect.
Am I being foolish or presumptuous by imagining this?  Am I “jinxing” it?  No.  I’m visualizing it.  I’m imagining it.  I have spent a lot of my life imagining the worst.  But I have also had experiences where I imagined good things happening, and they did. 
When I was 14, I imagined winning a blacklight poster of a castle, if I just sold enough magazine subscriptions for my school. 
I imagined going to my first comic convention. 
I once imagined an article I wrote, writing it in my head almost completely.  Years later the Internet arrived and I wrote my article. 
I imagined reading and writing a lot more.
I imagined the job I have now.
What is wrong with imagining and visualizing the very best possible future?  I don’t want to imagine anything else.  It doesn’t guarantee success, but it beats constantly imagining the worst.  Besides making my mind feeling better, it helps my body.  As Elizabeth Ann Scott noted in 8 Keys to Stress Management, the body doesn’t know the difference between a real event and an imaginary one.  If I imagine something bad, upsetting or frightening, my body tenses as if these things were real.  It will do the same if I imagine good events.
Before I went to my first comic convention, I would imagine it often, and it would motivate and excite me.  It gave me something to look forward to and work for.  That’s what I’m doing now.  This doesn’t mean obstacles and discouragements can’t arise.  But they won’t stop me.  I will keep working.  All that matters are my goals.  All that matters is being where I’m supposed to be. 
Why do I say that I’m supposed to be there?  Is my house on the beach my destiny?  Is it part of God’s plan for my life?  I think so.  I think that may be where this desire comes from.  I could have desired a house in the desert, the mountains, the suburbs, or the city, but for some reason even I don’t understand, I want a house on the beach.  I believe this is from God.  If it is, then I trust it’s part of His plan and He has a reason for me to be there.  That will unfold later.  For now, I just want to keep working.  I just want to Get Started and Keep Going until I get there.