Saturday, June 21, 2014

Soundtrack


Remember, we usually can't choose the music life plays for us, but we can choose how we dance to it. Make yours a beautiful memory.

Unknown



This morning I’m writing as an act of discipline.  It’s not that I don’t have anything to say or that I don’t know what to say.  On the contrary, I have a lot to say, but I don’t know how to say it and I’m not sure that I want to say it here.  My last two blogs have been very short and in bulleted form, also acts of discipline rather than passion.  If I were to create my life as if it were a movie, there would be at least one scene with a soundtrack.  Bob Dylan’s Tom Thumb’s Blues would be playing as I sat here in this chair waiting for my Muse.  The music would play as I wrote, as I struggled through fear, uncertainty, self-inflicted pain, and financial struggles. 
Or maybe Four Minutes by Madonna and Justin Timberlake would be playing in the background as it is now.  The camera would zoom closely showing a face full of determination despite self-doubt.  The camera would show the face of a man creating his own strength because he just won’t give up.  His refusal to surrender is not only in the only in the big moments, but in the small moments, ignoring all the little distractions that keep him from his Purpose.  He only has four minutes to save the world, or if not the world, at least his own soul. 
Perhaps Misty by Johnny Mathis would be the soundtrack.  It would show the beauty of the work.  It would show the love I have for my Muse.   

“You can say that you’re leading me on
But that’s just what I want you to do.
Don’t you notice how hopelessly I’m lost?
That’s why I’m following you.”
Maybe Kryptonite by Three Doors Down is playing.  The song moves fast.  The camera shows a man who is not giving up, no matter what.  Purpose is action.  Purpose is vitality. 

If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman?
If I'm alive and well, will you be there, holding my hand?
I'll keep you by my side with my superhuman might
Kryptonite

Fear is my kryptonite.  It causes me to do and say things I regret, things I hate even.  Almost every foolish thing I’ve ever done has had its root in fear. 
Maybe the song playing is Snoop Dogg’s I Wanna Rock.  There’s not much in the lyrics that’s relevant here except this:
You see a G, you better know the deal
You see the fellas, fool, I'm in the streets for real

I’m no gangster, but this writing is for real.  My Muse is for real.  God is for real. My Purpose is for real.
Maybe my song is more peaceful, like Shambala by Three Dog Night.
Wash away my troubles, wash away my pain
With the rain in Shambala
Wash away my sorrow, wash away my shame
With the rain in Shambala

My work often feels like a peaceful and cleansing rain over my soul.  I’m still amazed how much better I feel after writing.  I might come to this chair with any combination of negative emotions, but when I get up, I’m peaceful, determined, and full of love.
Almost any song would work, including a grating version of The Twelve Days of Christmas (which I got up and changed).  It’s not the background that matters.  It’s the work in front of me.  Everything else is either a distraction, a noise, or complementary to the work, but none of it ultimately matters at this moment.  All that matters is getting my work done.  I’m very good at letting things distract me.  Despite that, I just got another blog written.  Now, with music playing or in complete silence, I’m going to move into my other areas of Purpose.  I’m going to pray for people who need it.  I’m going to organize my environment a little more and simplify my life.  I’m going to be the most loving person I can be, by following a God and a Muse who love me.
Daisy Jane by America is playing as I prepare to transition.  It’s a perfect ending for this scene.
“Does she really love me?
I think she does
Like the stars above me, I know because
When the sky is bright
Everything's all right.”

Everything’s all right.  It’s time to Get Started and Keep Going…because everything’s all right.