Friday, June 13, 2014

When I'm Done With This Blog...

“The flower that follows the sun does so even in cloudy days.”

Robert Leighton

“We grow like flowers, and bear desire,
The odor of the human flowers.”

Richard Henry Stoddard

When I’m done with this blog, I’ll be a little closer to my goal.  Last night I had a headache and I didn’t want to do my radio show, but I did anyway and that got me a little closer to my goal.  Every day all I have to do is get a little closer to my goal.  Sometimes it’s better to set large goals, but small steps to reach those goals.  I’ve committed to 100 blogs by the end of my vacation, six-and-a-half weeks left now.  That might have been a little ambitious, but we will see.
I worked at a career center a few years ago and in my last summer there I set a goal to write 100 resumes in seven weeks.  It was a huge goal and I didn’t make it.  I did 80 resumes, but I’m convinced that’s far more than I would have done had I not set my goal.  So I have set goals for this summer and even if I don’t reach them, I will be better just for trying. 
Last summer I set only one major goal, to reach 150 blogs, by my birthday, July 1.  I reached it and I felt great.  Now I’m at nearly 600 blogs.  I still can’t comprehend that.  I just checked to be sure.  By this time last year, I had written 110 blogs.  Now I’m at nearly 600.  That amazes me.  How did I do that much work?  What did I gain and what did I lose by making the choice to do so much writing?
To answer the second part of the question first, I don’t think I lost much.  I gave up time that would have passed anyway. I gave up some recreational activities.  I spent less time with people.  Really, I gave up everything else while I was writing, but it didn’t seem like I gave up anything.  I just let them go while I was doing my work.  It didn’t seem like a huge sacrifice though. 
What did I gain?  I gained hours and hours of writing experience.  I gained hundreds of pages of writing.  I gained better working habits.  I gained self-esteem and confidence.  I gained Purpose and direction.  I gained patience and persistence and determination.  I gained the growth of a flower.  I gained my soul.
It should be noted that I don’t plan on stopping.  I will keep writing.  I will keep working.  Sometimes I don’t even know why I’m doing this.  So far there has been no financial remuneration and very little notice of any kind.  Other than my Muse and me, I don’t think anyone reads my work consistently.  It doesn’t matter.  I’ve gained (or regained) what I wrote above and that makes it all worth it. 
What amazes me still is how I come upon a blank page and wonder, “What more can I possibly write?”  Yet something always comes.  That’s the miracle of all of this.  Is my creativity and ability to work infinite?  Perhaps.  Perhaps not.  I have to behave as though it is and get it all out there.  I also have to behave as if it is not and that my time is limited.  Or perhaps I have to behave as if knowing that the more I do, the more I will do.  It’s infinite if I work.  It’s self-perpetuating, but I must perpetuate the work before I can do more.
So here I sit, writing, just writing.  I’ll write whether the days are cloudy or sunny, good or bad.  I’ll keep writing until I feel I have another assignment on this planet.   For now the plan is to write, to get my house on the beach and to spend my life with my Muse.  That feels like a good plan. 
As I said, last summer I set only one major goal.  This summer I have six goals:
·      Walk at least 30 hours
·      Write 100 more blogs.
·      Do 40 more radio shows.
·      Put 20 more things on eBay.
·      Read for 20 hours.
·      Reduce my debts by 20% or more.

I also have a couple of personal goals that I prefer not to share.  This will keep my days busy, active and interesting.  This won’t be much of a vacation, but I think I will feel more rested when I have reached these goals.  One of the benefits of setting and working towards written and stated goals is the sense of fun and excitement I feel.  I feel adrenaline and enthusiasm flowing through me.  I don’t feel like I’m “losing a vacation.”  I feel like I’m gaining a legacy. 
If these goals help me to get what I want, what I need really, then they are worth any amount of time.  I just need to keep working.  I just need to keep working and follow the sun, follow my Muse, until I get where I want to be.  I just need to Get Started and Keep Going.