Tuesday, July 22, 2014

More Choices or More Writing

“In the end that was the choice you made, and it doesn't matter how hard it was to make it. It matters that you did.”

Cassandra Clare, City of Glass

“There are so many ways to be brave in this world. Sometimes bravery involves laying down your life for something bigger than yourself, or for someone else. Sometimes it involves giving up everything you have ever known, or everyone you have ever loved, for the sake of something greater.

But sometimes it doesn't.

Sometimes it is nothing more than gritting your teeth through pain, and the work of every day, the slow walk toward a better life.

That is the sort of bravery I must have now.”

Veronica Roth, Allegiant

Normally after writing a blog, I don’t write another for several hours or even the next day.  But I just set an objective to write 29 blogs in the next six days.  I have 28 to go, so I thought I should keep working on this.  Of course, this goal is utterly insane, given my work habits.  Yes, my work habits have improved, but this is asking much more of me.  There’s no time to waste.  I need to write now and I need to keep writing until I’ve reached my objective. 
This objective is mine and it doesn’t excuse me from other obligations.  I still have to love my children.  I still have to be kind.  I still have to fulfill other commitments.  But I also need to treat today like a workday. My Muse is my priority.  That’s what I prefer.
Working means just that.  I need to sit here and write even if the ideas aren’t there yet.   I need to keep producing until I get something worth publishing.  So I need to Get Started and Keep Going and use my time well.  This process is exciting.  I look forward to seeing what will happen to me as a writer and to me as a person.
On that more personal note, Comic Con International starts in two days.  I have gone every day since 1975 (except for two years) and I plan on going two days this year, Thursday and Sunday.  That means I will have to make some choices.
1.     I can change my mind and not go at all.  Then I can use the time to write.
2.     I can write a lot before and after I go.
3.     I can take time to write while I am there.

I have had a love/hate affair with Comic Con for many years now.  I like going and I like buying comics.  I like reading comics.  But they are not the priority they once were.  In the last few months I’ve sold a lot.  I hardly ever go to comic book stores any more and in the last year and a half, I’ve spent almost no money on new comics.  When I go to Comic Con, the crowds, the parking, the walking, and the amount of money I spend  (no matter how hard I try to be thrifty) usually overwhelm me.  There was once a time when I dreamed of going for all five days with unlimited amounts of time and money.  I thought I’d rent a motel room and just read comics if I wasn’t at the Con.  Now if I had unlimited amounts of time and money, I’d rather write.
When Thursday comes, I wonder what I’ll do.  In the past, it just drove me crazy when there was a comic convention of any kind and I couldn’t be there.  It used to be worse.  If I couldn’t go to a comic store once a week, I was very frustrated.   Now I hardly go at all, and when I do, I rarely buy anything.
Comic Cons are a little different because I can get a lot of things for relatively little money.  That, of course, reminds me of my other problem:  I don’t have a lot of money to spend.  I could use a credit card, but that would be foolish.  I could set a budget, but I’d have to be very self-disciplined to stick to it – just as I have to be self-disciplined to write 28 more blogs.  “Everything is everything,” as the old saying goes.  It’s all connected.
“What you do anywhere, you do everywhere,” an associate of T. Harv Eker said.
So what will I do?  I’ll go to Comic Con with a budget.  I’ll spend half on Thursday and half on Sunday.  Maybe I’ll make a game of it and see how little I can spend.  (The most I’ve ever spent at a comic con was around $500.  The least I’ve spent was $5.  So anything is possible.)  What I want is to come home feeling that I had fun and that I got some enjoyable things to read.  And I want to know that I spent my time and money wisely.
Money is short right now, but so is time. I want to use both well.  Of the two, time is more valuable because it’s irreplaceable.  That’s why I’m writing now.  Time is also short. That’s why I’m writing now.   How I spend my time says a lot about me. That’s why I’m writing now.  That’s why I’ll always write.