Saturday, November 23, 2013

Playing Hurt


Nobody can hurt me without my permission.

Mahatma Gandhi

We are more often frightened than hurt; and we suffer more from imagination than from reality.

Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I write from my soul. This is the reason that critics don't hurt me, because it is me. If it was not me, if I was pretending to be someone else, then this could unbalance my world, but I know who I am.

Paulo Coelho




On my to-do list, I wrote, among other things, that I want to write two blogs.  I don’t feel like writing at the moment because I feel distracted and worried about other things.  But as I said on my radio show this morning, borrowing from Steven Pressfield, the professional plays hurt.  He also plays scared, tired, distracted and uncertain.  So that’s what I’m doing.  I’m sitting here doing my work.  And I don’t care if I’ve said all this before and I don’t care if I have to erase everything I’m doing now and start over again, I’m going to write.
That’s it.  That’s what it takes.  At this very moment I feel distracted and uncertain and scared.  It’s not that I don’t want to be here; I just want all my negative emotions to go away first.  I want to write from a place of peace.  But I can’t seem to get there yet, so I’m going to write from where I am.  Maybe I’m in for a bad day.  Maybe everything will be fine.  I don’t know.  I just need to write.
If nothing else, I hope to set an example for everyone who is suffering by showing a different way.  By doing my work, I can move past the fear, the dread, the apathy and the confusion.  Eventually, this moves me through or out of my suffering.  What is the difference? 
“Through” means I deal with my pain.  It means that I have to take certain steps that are scary.  We move through our pain when we cry or grieve.  We move through our pain when we acknowledge our true feelings.  We move through our pain when we confront or have an uncomfortable conversation.  I don’t like getting vaccinations and I don’t like vomiting, but sometimes that is what is required to protect me or get the toxins out of my system. 
What does it mean to get out of my suffering?  It means that my suffering isn’t necessary.  My fear or sadness are based on a false premise.  I think that something is wrong, but everything is fine.  My biggest problem is the one I’ve created in my head.  In this case, I’ve often found tapping or doing “The Work” (Loving What Is, by Byron Katie) to be extremely helpful.  I’ve mentioned this before, but it bears repeating.  There are four questions and a “turnaround” that help me to get control of my emotions.  If, for example, I think a friend is upset with me or I’m going to lose my job or I’m going to lose a good opportunity, I ask the following:
1.     Is my thought true?
2.     Do I know for sure that it’s true?
3.     How does this thought make me feel?
4.     Who would I be without this thought?
Then I do a “turnaround.”  For example, “My friend isn’t upset with me; he’s just busy,” or “I’m not going to lose my job; I’m going to get a promotion,” or “I didn’t lose a good opportunity; I missed a disaster.”  There are many ways to do the turnaround and I highly recommend the book for more understanding of this process.
The beauty of The Work and tapping is that they free me from being overwhelmed by negativity and emotional pain.  So much of our pain comes from our minds and most of it, 99.9999% is unnecessary.  Besides making us miserable, what it does is keeps me from doing my work.
This is why it’s important that I do my work no matter what.  This is why I stick to my objectives no matter what.  I may play hurt, but I don’t leave hurt.  I leave stronger.  I leave calmer and happier.  I leave with more resolve.  I may still be a little shaky, but I can walk off the field instead of being carried off.
I Get Started.
I Keep Going.