Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Interestingly...





Interestingly, I noticed my last three blogs were pretty short.  I don’t know if I’m tired or pushing too hard or getting burned out.  I know I won’t get two done today.  I’m really in the difficult part of this.  This leads to some interesting questions:
·      Did I over-commit?
·      Should I keep going or cut back to one blog a day?
·      What am I trying to prove?
·      How do I beat discouragement?
·      Is all of this resistance or am I actually overdoing it?
·      Am I getting too caught up in the present stress and missing the big picture?

I truly don’t know what to do.  So I’ll keep writing.  I hope the Muse comes soon, because right now I’m just tired.  Maybe I’m not getting enough sleep or I’m not eating enough fruits and vegetables or drinking enough water.
Or maybe this is just part of the creative process, the part that isn’t fun.  A teacher told me that the Marx Brothers stopped doing movies because it wasn’t fun anymore.  Right now this isn’t fun.  I know what would be fun:
·      Sitting at my house on the beach.
·      Having my dream job.
·      Knowing that my children were happy and healthy in all ways.
·      Knowing that I made a difference in the world.

I think one of the ways I could fix this problem is to do my writing at the same time every day, as if it were a ritual. Granted, there’s rarely a perfect time to do my work, even when I’m well and not feeling discouraged.  That means two things:
·      I have to create my perfect time.
·      I have to forget about a perfect time and do my work anyway.

Perhaps it’s my own excuse, but it’s hard for me to create a perfect time, that is, a consistent time every day.  Every day I write and I do my work at different times, but I do my work anyway.  As long as I write it down, I almost always get it done.
Still, I’d like to work on having a scheduled and consistent daily time.  It might make my work better.  I try to do my radio shows early in the morning, but the blogs take more time and thought.  And, ironically, though my radio shows are good, I can see ways that they can be better, so soon they will require more time and thought. 
So why am I doing this?
I do this because I have goals – personal goals, financial goals, intellectual goals and spiritual goals.  All of my goals should have two purposes – to create a better world and to be a better person.  So I write.  I know that nothing will come from nothing.  In other words, even though I’m not feeling well, I could do nothing.  I could play video games, read comic books or sleep all day, not from illness but from laziness.  And at the end of the day, I would feel worse.  Worse than being sick.  Because I was given the blessings of time, health and energy and I squandered them.
I generally sleep better if, at the end of the day, I can look back on a full day with a feeling of accomplishment.  So I keep working.
I feel better because I finished this blog.  Tomorrow I will do things differently so that I can get two blogs done, and at a reasonable time.
Interestingly, the more experienced I become at this, the harder it gets.  That’s all right.  I’ll Get Started and Keep Going anyway.