“You can change your world by changing your words... Remember, death and life are in the power of the tongue.”
“The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.”
“Genius is the ability to put into effect what is on your mind.”
F. Scott Fitzgerald
Sometimes I think I work pretty hard. Over 330 blogs is nothing to sneeze at. Other times I don’t think I work hard enough. I don’t feel anywhere near my goals. I feel like I need to use every second wisely. So I’m going to sit here and write this blog so that I can get closer to one goal, reaching 365 in 17 days. Because sometimes I think I work on the wrong things entirely.
I have so much that I want to do, but I think I’m still learning my rhythm. I need to learn how to alternate between the physical and cerebral tasks. It might even be wise to walk twice a day, not just once, or have another form of exercise. I know that during some parts of the day I feel less motivated. Then in the evening I feel motivated again, but the motivation in the evening is different from the one in the morning. In the morning I’m more energetic and positive. In the evening, after having been hit with challenges throughout the day, I’m motivated by things I haven’t done that day.
In the evening I’m also racing the clock. Soon I’ll be too tired to write. Oh, I can write when I’m tired, but it’s a lot harder. I make more mistakes and I’m in more of a hurry. Actually, I should be in bed now, but I need to finish this.
I wish I had something to offer at this point besides complaints. All I can do is write until the Muse gives me her message. All I can do is be here. Every day (or night) that’s all I can do. And, really, that’s fine with me. My Muse has never failed to show up before and she won’t fail now. Even if she does, I’ll keep writing. Writing has always been a good thing for me…except once.
When I was in college I was taking a Communications class. I turned in a paper that I thought was well done. I hadn’t received my grade on it for a few days so I asked the Teacher’s Aide if she would call me at home when she had graded it. She called me the next day. Unfortunately, I was sleeping because I was working the graveyard shift at 7-11. In addition to being woken up, I was unpleasantly surprised to find out my grade was a “C.”
The next day I took it to the professor in protest. He agreed with the grade, saying I was close, but I didn’t quite answer the question. I still disagreed and thought a lack of clear communication in a communication class was ironic. I must have caused enough of a fuss or maybe other students protested their grades too, because for the next paper everyone received a one-page guide on exactly how the paper was to be written. So I wrote it that way and got an “A.” It was the only time I was ashamed of an “A.” I felt like I’d compromised myself.
When I complained about this incident to another teacher, he said, “Don’t worry about the C you didn’t deserve. You probably got some A’s and B’s you didn’t deserve either.”
He was right.
What was so fascinating about this was knowing that I could take my work and use it in a way that was directed by others and that made me uncomfortable. Right now I’m in another uncomfortable situation, trying to sell things on the Internet, an occupation that I have absolutely no interest in or proclivity for. I feel like I’m compromising myself. So I’m just going to ignore it until it goes away. I’m not a salesman or a multi-level marketer or an affiliate. I’m a writer and by allowing myself to get involved in something I don’t believe in feels like a compromise of the worst kind.
About a year or so ago, I worked with a fellow on a writing project. A close friend said I was selling my soul. That was a hard thing to hear, but I really needed the money. I did get paid, but the project never went public. The man went on to a similar project but never called me.
What does all this have to do with Purpose?
I’m still trying to figure this out, but sometimes I do things I don’t want to do, in fact, hate doing and should never do, because my own communication isn’t clear. As angry as I was about that Communication class paper, at least the expectations were clear. I create problems because I’m not clear with others and I’m certainly not clear with myself.
Fear tells me I might lose an opportunity. But the truth is that my opportunities are the ones I create. They might take time, but they are there. There are no opportunities for me in MLM or affiliate marketing because I have never been nor ever will be comfortable selling to my friends.
What makes me comfortable is being in my Purpose. Everything else just feels like a waste of the time I’ve been given. And that is time that should be used to Get Started and to Keep Going…and communicate clearly.