Is it possible to work on a skill for years and years and never get really good at it? I suppose. That happened to me in certain jobs, but the truth is that I had no passion for those jobs. I can’t think of a skill I was passionate about that didn’t improve with time and practice.
Practice is what I’m doing now. I feel like I’m warming up, but not actually in the game yet. I will feel like I’m in the game when I hear from the Muse. Right now she’s being quiet. That’s fine. I’ll just keep writing until she gives me something I can work with. She may not have arrived yet. Or she may be peeking around the corner to see if I’m working. Perhaps she wants me to rest (I doubt it) or drink more water or even put on some music. I can do that. Music, after all, comes from the Muse. The words are related. Music is one of the languages of the Muse.
Okay, the music is playing. Now what do I do? Should I sing along?
Oh, my life is changing every day,
In every possible way.
And oh, my dreams, it's never quite as it seems,
Never quite as it seems.
I know I've felt like this before, but now I'm feeling it even more,
Because it came from you.
And then I open up and see the person falling here is me,
A different way to be.
Yes, it’s the same song as last night, but this song really motivates me, this song to my Muse. I played it at least five times last night while I wrote. It kept me awake and it became part of my blog. Now I’m listening to Dizzy by Tommy Roe. This song reminds me not only of my vertigo, but also of my relationship to my Muse.
Dizzy, I'm so dizzy my head is spinning
Like a whirlpool, it never ends
And it's you girl makin' it spin
You're making me dizzy
It’s not that being with my Muse is hard. It’s a lot easier than being without her. But she does require a certain amount of self-discipline on my part if our relationship is to grow. She’s not difficult, but she’s stubborn. She won’t come at my beck and call, but I am always on call to her. If she whispers something to me while I’m taking a shower, she expects me to write it down or act on it in some way as quickly as possible.
Here’s another good reminder of our relationship, this time from Judy Collins song Both Sides Now:
But something’s gained
In living every day.
Since the Muse captured my heart, I’ve definitely been living every day. In fact, I feel like I’ve done more living in the last two years than I have in most of my life. I’ve also struggled with fear more directly than I ever have before. And here’s what the Muse says:
She told me baby, when you race today
Just take along my love with you
And if you know how much I loved you
Baby, nothing could go wrong with you
But this song, Wave on Wave, by Pat Green, probably more than any other song, describes my relationship with my Muse:
You came upon me, wave on wave.
You're the reason I'm still here, yeah.
Am I the one you were sent to save?
You came upon me, wave on wave.
I wandered out into the water,
And I thought that I might drown.
I don't know what I was after,
Just know I was goin' down.
And that's when she found me.
Not afraid anymore.
She said: "You know, I always had you, baby.
"Just waitin' for you to find what you were lookin' for."
And there’s one more: All of Me, by John Legend:
What would I do without your smart mouth
Drawing me in, and you kicking me out
Got my head spinning, no kidding,
I cant pin you down
Whats going on in that beautiful mind
Im your magical mystery ride
And Im so dizzy, dont know what hit me,
But I’ll be alright
And I will be alright. As long as I Get Started and Keep Going…and enjoy the music.