Tuesday, December 10, 2013

"Dreams" of Consciousness


“I want more
Impossible to ignore
Impossible to ignore

They'll come true
Impossible not to do
Impossible not to do.”

Dreams – The Cranberries



Okay.  Right now I’m going to do an exercise called the Free Write.  That’s where I write without stopping, without thinking, without editing.  That’s not going to happen.  I’m going to edit.  Maybe I’ll resist the temptation, but I don’t think so.  Here are some things I am thinking about.
·      Sometimes I wish I could take the day off from work and just read and write.
·      I have no desire to do multi-level marketing or affiliate marketing or any kind of marketing in which I have to sell to my friends, so I simply won’t. 
·      I need to learn to listen to my heart.  If I had, I would have been stronger with my refusal.  Now I’m stuck in something I hate and a little deeper in debt.
·      I wish I were in my house on the beach right now.
·      I’m glad I’m healthy right now.  Everything else will resolve itself.
·      I need to be patient.
·      I need to keep working as if the things I want depend on the amount of effort I put forth. 
·      They do.
·      I feel better just sitting here and writing.
·      I feel grateful.
·      I have to stay motivated every day.
·      Sometimes I have to motivate myself.  That’s okay.
·      I feel so grateful for my life.  It’s not perfect, but I am very blessed.
·      I have walked every day for the last four days.  Tomorrow will be Day #5.
·      I feel happy.
·      I was feeling down for a while, but once I started writing, I felt better.
·      Sometimes writing makes me feel better than a good meal, although I would enjoy a good meal.
·      Purpose is good.
·      Purpose is a gift.
·      I’m falling asleep.
·      Doing these blogs is one of the most consistent amounts of self-discipline I’ve exhibited in my entire life.  No one is making me do this.  I’ve rarely worked this hard before, but I believe in this.
·      I still wish things would happen faster.
·      Then I realize, again, how incredibly good I have it now.
·      At the same time I look forward to other good things.
·      I’m grateful for those things, even though they haven’t yet materialized.
·      The things I want will come at the right time.  When they do, I will appreciate them even more.
·      People who have hurt me are sometimes my best teachers, but I don’t want take any more courses from them.
·      I like writing in a stream-of-consciousness manner.
·      I was looking at the blog I wrote the other night.  It wasn’t bad, but the one I wrote the next morning was better.
·      I’m listening to Dreams by the Cranberries.  It’s good music to write to and the lyrics are perfect.  This is what I would sing to my Muse
o      Now I tell you openly
      You have my heart so don't hurt me
You're what I couldn't find

Totally amazing mind
So understanding and so kind
You're everything to me

All my life
Is changing every day
In every possible way

And oh my dreams
It's never quite as it seems
Cause you're a dream to me
Dream to me
·      You’re a dream to me, dear Muse. 
·      Thank you for helping me to Get Started and to Keep Going.