Wednesday, January 8, 2014

The Same Old Thing

“The writer's curse is that even in solitude, no matter its duration, he never grows lonely or bored.”

Criss Jami

Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential.

Winston Churchill

I haven’t written today and I can feel it.  It made my day feel ordinary, like the same old thing.  Also, the more I procrastinate, the harder it gets, even after all this time and all the work I’ve done.  This never gets easier.  And if I take too much time off, it gets harder.  So now I’m going to sit here and write until I’m done with this blog.  Then I’m going to finish some other work and then work on another blog. 
That sounds like a good plan. 
Of course, I really don’t know what to write about.  I just looked up a list of 250 writing prompts to get an idea and none of them were helpful.  It was as if my Muse were saying, “Why are you doing that?  Just write.  Stop looking for ideas.  I will give you ideas when I’ve seen you writing for a while.  Get to work, lazy!”    She calls me lazy as a joke, but it’s a good reminder.
In fact, I think she’s been trying to remind me all day.  I’ve been stuck on a few things and the only way to get unstuck is to take action.  So that’s what I’m doing.  I’m writing and writing until something comes to me.  If none of this makes sense to me later I can delete it.  If none of this makes sense to the reader, then trust me, this is how the writing process works.  I write and write until something comes, or more precisely, until the Muse gives me something.  This is a difficult way to write, but for me it’s the only way I know. 
When I use the word “difficult” I might be exaggerating.  Very little of this is difficult.   It’s work and it takes effort, but it’s not difficult.  What’s difficult is the same thing that has always been difficult – getting started.  I don’t know why I’ve had so much resistance for the last few days.  Everything has been a struggle, even doing my laundry.  I finally just started a load, which I’m sure is good news for everyone.  But why has there been so much resistance?
Perhaps I was under the delusion that one day I would just sit down and write and not get distracted or allow distractions. 
Perhaps I thought that the Enemy would take a break.  Instead it keeps telling me to take a break. 
Perhaps I’m worried that I won’t do this or my other tasks well and I’m afraid of failure.
Perhaps I’m lazy or tired or hungry or worried about money.
Perhaps none of those things matters.  All that matters is that I write.  All that matter is that I fight my inactivity.  This is the only answer to whatever has been troubling me recently.   Once I start writing and in every second that I continue writing, everything seems easier.  I’m not worried about anything.  I’m not thinking about the past or the future or anything that worries me.  I’m just writing.  This is one of the best places in the world to be.  In addition, I’m also starting to figure out solutions for or come to peace with some of the things that have been troubling me.  I am so grateful for the privilege of writing.
Today someone asked me what it is I love about writing.  I listed the following:
·      The feel of my fingers moving across the keyboard
·      The joy of creating something
·      Coming up with new ideas
·      The fun of reading something I’ve written

I can also add these:
·      The peace I feel when I’m writing
·      The peace I feel when I’m done
·      The amount of work I’ve done
·      The way that new ideas and concepts come to me every single time
·      The way this increases my self-esteem the more I do it. 
·      The unlimited possibilities.

Writing really is a privilege.  Everyone who has a Purpose (and that’s probably everyone on earth) has this privilege.  No, not everyone can write, but everyone can do something, usually several things that can leave a positive impact.   It will be good for the world, or at least your part of it, and it will be good for you.  That’s why I write.  That’s also why I feel that something is missing when I don’t write.  Something is missing – my chance to contribute to the world and to myself. 
If this message sounds like the same old thing, that’s because it is.   But it’s not old.  It’s new and it’s necessary every day.  I’m saying something I say often, because it needs to be said often. The day I no longer need to say this will be a glorious day.  Until then Get Started and Keep Going.