Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Some Musings...

Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.

Joseph Campbell

True happiness comes from the joy of deeds well done, the zest of creating things new.

Antoine de Saint-Exupery

How nice it’s going to be to sit here and write.   I’m not going to let anything interrupt me.  Despite 410 blogs, it is still a battle to do the things I want to do.  This is important to remember.  Rarely do I get a free ride.  Even when my schedule’s not impacted, I still have a battle to finish all the things I want to do.  For example, I haven’t read The Brothers Karamazov in several days.   I haven’t read any financial books or books on writing since at least Saturday.   I’m not expressing regret or self-contempt; I’m simply stating facts.
In addition to the battle for consistency, I also have to fight the battle for creativity.  Once again I wonder if I have anything to say or if I will end up deleting this blog and starting over.  Besides that, I’m also remembering that I have a goal to write two blogs a day, otherwise I won’t reach my goal of 500 for three more months.  So what I need to do is write a list of tasks I want to complete before I go to sleep tonight.  Writing things down always calms me.  If it seems that I am pushing myself, I am.  My major goal is still my house by the beach. 
How is my writing connected to my house by the beach?  I’m not sure myself.  What I do know is that when I take control of the things I can control, the things outside of my control soon seem attainable.  Self-discipline is one of the most powerful tools ever.  Writing on a daily basis is a way to create self-discipline.  Here are some other ways that help me:
·      Making my bed
·      Cleaning the kitchen
·      Walking for at least 30 minutes
·      Reading
·      Taking a nap
·      Getting to places on time
·      Staying focused at work

Really, the list goes on and on.   Some things are harder than others, but if I start with the easier ones, it gets simpler, though not easier.  I keep waiting for this to get easier and it never does.  That’s fine.  I’ll Get Started and Keep Going.  I’m privileged to be able to do something I love every day.  It isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it.  I just wish I had something to say. 
It’s interesting how much harder this seems since I’ve cut back to one blog a day for the last few days.  If I write two blogs tonight, maybe this will start getting a little easier again.  I still wish I had something to say. 
So if I have nothing to say, why am I writing?  I’m writing because that is what writers do.  It doesn’t matter if I write nonsense (not that I think this is nonsense).  It doesn’t matter if I delete this whole blog and start again.  It doesn’t matter if I don’t even publish this.  All that matters is that I write.  That’s what writers do; they write.  I don’t talk about writing or read about writing.  I don’t wish or hope to write someday.  I write.  That’s what makes me a writer.  Writing. 
Writing, I’m happy to say, is something I want to do every day.  I want to do it every morning.  I want to read and study and speak, but mostly I want to write and I want my Muse to be with me in our house by the beach while I write.  That is my perfect life in this world.  This is the thing that makes me the happiest.  When I am alone with my Muse, I am peaceful and content.  Every day I realize this more and more.  I think that’s why there’s been so much resistance lately, more than usual.    The Enemy does not want me to write.  Why is that?
I have some theories about that.  Perhaps my writing might have some positive effect on the world at large.  Perhaps I’ll set an example.   Perhaps my writing will help me become financially successful.  Perhaps I’ll be using my time well.  Perhaps I’ll have better self-esteem and feel more confident.   Perhaps I’ll just be happier.  Perhaps my Muse will be happier for all those reasons.