Sunday, April 20, 2014

Four Things I'm Not Looking For


It felt good to write two blogs today, and now a third, for the following reasons:
1.     I got a little closer to my goal.
2.     I got free of some anxiety and frustration.
3.     I created something new.
4.     I helped others (hopefully).

Steven King and Steven Pressfield both write three to four hours a day, usually in the morning and usually consecutively.  I’m not able to do that yet, but I can do more than I’m doing.  I can use my time better.  What if I spent every possible moment I could on my Purpose?  What if I studied and wrote more?  What would that do for my life?  What healing and joy would that bring?  What would that do for others?
Perhaps the most important question one could ask is, “Is this the best use of my time?”
That doesn’t mean I have to be working every single moment.  Perhaps a nap could be the best use of my time.  Or playing an online game.  Or reading a comic book.  But could I spend more time with those I love?  Could I write more?  Is there more I could do?
I’ve written about this before and it seems to be my current theme, but there’s a reason for it.  Today I was reading On the Road by Jack Kerouac.  The novel struck me as man’s search, not for meaning, but for ways to survive, for ways to make money, and for ways to fill the time.  There are characters in the book who are looking for love in their travels, but not for a purpose.  I haven’t finished the book, so perhaps my thoughts on the book will change, but this is what I’ve read so far.  Characters are on the road, but they don’t seem to have a destination.
This seems true of many people.  They are on the road, but they don’t know where they’re going.  They have no destination.  This isn’t a condemnation of anyone.  I was one of those people for years.  I made life as good as I could make it, but I didn’t really have a reason to do so, other than quality for its own sake and to be happy.  Then when I began writing, I found a destination.  I found a reason for being on the road.  I’ve said this before:  Life is not just a journey; it’s a quest.  What are we looking for? 
I’m looking for ways to create. 
I’m looking for every opportunity I can get to write, study and teach. 
I’m looking for the right people to serve and love.
I’m looking for my house on the beach.
Here are four things I am not looking for:  happiness, success, wealth and love.
I’m not looking for happiness, because happiness is a result of doing things I love and being with people I love.  My times of greatest happiness always came when I was loving others or myself in healthy ways.  They came when I was serving others or when I was taking care of myself.  They rarely came when I was seeking attention or affirmation.  They never came when I was seeking happiness itself.
I’m not looking for success because I’m already successful.  According to Earl Nightingale I became successful the moment I wrote down my goals and began working towards them.  That makes sense.  Again, when I think of my house on the beach, I feel like it’s already mine.  I just haven’t seen it yet, but it will come at the right time and in the right way. 
I’m not looking for wealth, because compared to most people in the world, I’m already wealthy.  I am, however, looking for a certain amount of money.  That amount will help me reach both my short-term and long-term goals.  But knowing that I’m already wealthy keeps me humble and grateful, because everything I have is a gift.  I am extremely blessed and wealthy. 
I’m also not looking for love.  I found it when I found my Muse.  Now I’m looking for ways to love her.  That’s why I write.  That’s why I Get Started and Keep Going.