"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will."
"Strength is a matter of a made up mind."
"Few men during their lifetime come anywhere near exhausting the resources dwelling within them. There are deep wells of strength that are never used."
Richard E. Byrd
I didn’t write a blog yesterday and I’m reluctant to write one now. It’s almost as if I’m afraid to write this morning. Yesterday was a difficult day. The things I’m struggling with are not yet resolved, so that makes today uncertain. There is one thing that was helpful yesterday and that was this:
I need strength.
I need strength for myself. I need strength for others. There are people I love and they are going through difficult journeys and I don’t want them to travel alone. I want to be with them. But I need to start developing the strength I have been given, so I can help.
When I was a child, I was small and slight. I was downright thin, almost emaciated looking. This may have been a result of nearly starving to death in an orphanage in Turkey. I never really put on an appropriate amount of weight. As a result, I never had a lot of strength. This carried on into my adulthood. Today, I am probably just below average weight, though I have a small gut. I still, however, don’t have a lot of strength.
My lack of strength, however, became a choice, and no longer a circumstance.
I want to choose differently now.
I can be strong. I have been when necessary.
This means I need to fight my thoughts, especially the fearful ones. I can do that through prayer, tapping, worship, drinking water, exercising, and working in my Purpose. I can stay focused on my house on the beach.
What do I hope to gain by using and developing my strength?
First, and foremost, I want to be less selfish. I want to be more available, physically and emotionally for the people I love. Most of my day is spent helping others, but I still have a huge streak of self-preoccupation that colors many of my relationships. I ask forgiveness for those I have hurt, offended or alienated. Now I want to do things differently.
My other hope is that in developing my strength, I will stop being afraid. Fear is my predominant Enemy and this too causes me to hurt others by saying things I don’t mean. Yes, it’s okay to express fears, but as a request for ideas, not a demand. In other words, if I have a fear, I can ask how I can overcome it with help, rather than tell someone what to do because I am afraid they will hurt me or cause problems? Of all my internal Enemies, fear is my greatest, and I’m tired of this running my life.
It is good now to review ways in which I have been strong. The first example is the writing I have done. This will be my 466th blog. I’ve also done over 100 handwritten pages in a little over a month. I’ve been writing journals since I was 17. I can be strong and consistent when I want to be. It is now time to move that strength into other areas of my life. I want to be strong physically, financially, emotionally and spiritually. Actually, I want to be stronger. I’m already strong in each of those areas. I need to be stronger.
Where then do I acquire increased strength? From God and from within. First, I need to rely on God every moment of every day. Sometimes I forget this. God is the One who strengthens me when I have no strength. He is the One who teaches me true strength. He is like my own personal training coach. I know the concept of the overly personalized God does not sit well with some, but God really does want to be intimately involved in every detail of my life. Yes, He wants to be worshipped and loved, but He also wants to be my friend, my coach, my mentor and my trainer. I’m not ashamed to say it. I need Him in every aspect of my life and all day long.
At the same time, I need to develop that strength which is already within, that which God gave me. I’ve already mentioned my strength as a writer. I need the same kind of strength in other areas of my life, in all areas.
People need me. Strength is needed to get to my house on the beach. I hope I haven’t lost that. If I have, I will Get Started and Keep Going to get it back. I will use all the strength I have and all the strength I will have.