Saturday, March 1, 2014

Because I Want to Write..

“We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.”

Kurt Vonnegut

“People say that writers write for money. From my own experience that's not true. I write for me. I publish for money.”

Greg Curtis

“I count myself as one of the number of those who learn as they write and write as they learn.”

I’m tired and not feeling well, but I can’t sleep.  I’m feeling a little anxious, but I’m making some tea and since I can’t sleep, I’m going to write.  One of the things I’m worried about is not writing enough.  Perhaps that sounds silly after 457 blogs, but I do worry about losing momentum or giving up.  Then I remember my house on the beach.  I remember why I’m doing this.  I remember that being in Purpose is more powerful than being afraid or without sleep or sick.  This doesn’t mean I shouldn’t take care of myself, but sometimes action is the best medicine.  In fact, just sitting here and writing with a hot cup of peppermint tea next to me, I am feeling better already.  I’m feeling closer to my house on the beach.
“What,” one may ask, “does writing blogs have to do with reaching your goals?  You’re not making any money doing this.  Shouldn’t you use your time more wisely than spending it with your Muse?”
Those are good questions and here are my answers.
First, I’m not doing this for the money.  Purpose may lead to money, but it is never about the money.  This doesn’t mean I don’t want money.  Making money through my Purpose would completely change my life positively.  And even when that happens, it won’t be about the money.  If Purpose becomes about money, then it is no longer about love.  Jesus said, “You cannot serve both God and money.”
Some have misconstrued Jesus’ words to mean that money is somehow bad, but that’s not what he was saying.  He was saying that money cannot take the place of God.  Purpose is the same.   Money can’t take the place of my Purpose. 
Let me be clear that I like money.  Though it has long been argued that money can’t buy happiness, I disagree.  Making money makes me very happy.  But it doesn’t make me happy all the time.   While it can meet most of my physical needs, it doesn’t meet my truest and deepest needs, the needs of my heart.  Purpose does meet the needs of my heart.  Writing meets those needs.
So I write and I hope to make money doing it, but I write for other reasons.  I do this for the self-discipline.  (I was going to say that I have a long and checkered history of starting things but not finishing them.  That’s not completely true.  I’ve finished many things.  But I still struggle with staying focused.  Writing every day helps.)  I am teaching my mind and body that I can stay focused and disciplined.  Writing also helps me discipline my emotions. 
The main reason I write is because I love it.  I love being with my Muse.  I love the quiet my soul feels when I am with her.  I love that I can write almost anywhere.  I love that I can write anything I want.  I love how therapeutic and educational it is.  I love that it doesn’t matter if anyone reads my writing or not.  If I were the only person in the world, I would still write.  Then I wouldn’t feel like the only person in the world. 
I love how I feel that I have no choice, but to write. 
I love how I feel I will lose my soul if I don’t write. 
I love how I write simply because I want to write.
My ability to write and my love for writing are two of the greatest gifts God and my Muse could have given me, so I offer my writing back to them.
It’s pretty late now, but I’m feeling better.  The peppermint tea helped.  The writing helped more.  I’m going to sleep now.  When I wake up, it will be another opportunity to Get Started and Keep Going…and keep writing.