Thursday, March 27, 2014

Change and Unfairness


This week I was doing corporate training.  I’m glad not only for the work, but that I am doing work I love.  I feel privileged.  The topic of the trainings is change.  Here are some of the things I am telling or will tell my audience:
·      Change is normal.
·      Change is often healthy.
·      Change is inevitable.
·      Change is actually desirable, though we may not realize it.
·      Whether change is good or bad depends on the view of the person going through it.
·      Undergoing change is rarely easy, but it can often be good. 
·      If there were no change in our lives, we would most likely seek it out. 
·      Bill Murray demonstrated many of the above ideas in the movie Groundhog Day.  When things didn’t change, first he took advantage of it to meet all his baser desires. Then it caused him to be suicidal.  Then he created a new life and completely changed himself for the better.
·      Almost every major change I experienced, and even some traumatic events, resulted in something better.
·      The few that did not seem to do so, such as the death of my best friend at 18, may have a purpose beyond my understanding.  Or it may not.  It may just be a tragedy with no reason or purpose.  But it did provide me with some valuable lessons, such as to always wear a seatbelt and be careful when giving advice.
·      Life is not fair.  Nor would we really want it to be.  If it were always fair, there would be no struggle and thus no growth. 
·      Unfairness can be a horrible concept.  Unfairness leads to racism, sexism, ageism and the oppression of the helpless or the less powerful.  This is maddening and cannot be discussed blithely while sitting in the comfort of one’s warm, safe home.  It must be really looked at and not tolerated.  At the same time, blind rage over unfairness can lead to the inability to form constructive solutions.  Thoughtful action is required.  If the unfairness is in the past, then thoughtful healing may be required.
·      Sometimes people say to accept everything that happens.  I think it’s better to acknowledge them and then decide if you want accept them or change them.
·      Nobody likes the unfair things or the injustices of life.  Nor should they.  It is from the point of acknowledgement, however, that we can begin to affect change.
·      When I add up all the events in my life, I think there has been more good than bad.
·      Much of the “bad” stayed bad longer than it needed to, because I didn’t move on from it.
·      It’s okay to get help when trauma or bad events overwhelm us.
·      It’s may be necessary to get help if the trauma or bad events occurred years ago.
·      I think a lot of pain from the past has to do with how we think, speak and act in the present.
·      I don’t have all the answers.  That’s one of the reasons I need other people.
·      Other people don’t have all the answers either.  That’s one of the reasons they need me.
·      One of the answers I may give others, especially those dealing with change or unfairness is to Get Started and to Keep Going.  Doing those two things has helped me immensely.