Saturday, March 29, 2014

Did I Forget How to Write?

“Go forth, and play joyfully in the garden of life.”

Jonathan Lockwood Huie

“Hide not your talents, they for use were made,
What's a sundial in the shade?”

Benjamin Franklin

“It has been my observation that most people get ahead during the time that others waste”

Henry Ford

Do I still have it?  Can I still write?  After this week, I’m not so sure.  This week I have done very little writing.  Between a new job, a different schedule and a lot of traveling, I simply chose not to do it.  There was also fatigue.  The truth is I chose to do other things.  That’s really the best way to put it.  This takes away blame and self-criticism.  I simply chose to do other things.  Am I happy with my choices?  There are two answers to that question:  Yes and It doesn’t matter. 
Yes, I’m happy with the choices I made.  I spent time learning a new job and dealing with all the details of that new job than I did writing.  I’m glad I made that choice.  I want to do my job well.  I don’t want to be careless or thoughtless.  People are blessed when I do my job well.    It blesses the people I work with and the people I work for.  I need to enhance my work and make it as good as it can be.
The way I can enhance my work is by reading as much as possible so that I can add to the materials I’ve been given.  The nice thing about reading is that I can read almost anything and apply it to my teaching.  I can also study techniques to help improve my performance.  On my way to deliver a presentation the other day, I listened to two podcasts about how to present more effectively.   It fascinates me that though I have natural skills in certain things, such as writing or speaking, there is always room for growth and there are always new things to learn. 
What I still struggle with, however, is the Enemy.  I’ve wasted a lot of time tonight.  I did what I wanted to do today, but when it was time to write, I found myself procrastinating and delaying even more than usual.  Or maybe it was the usual amount and I’ve forgotten, in just a few days, how much I struggle to do my work.  The irony is that it’s not that hard to do this.  At this very moment, the words are flowing from my fingers to the page, almost effortlessly.  It’s as if my Muse were giving me extra energy, but it took me a long time to get to this point. 
Speaking of my Muse, how is she doing?  I mentioned in a recent blog that she told me to not write the other day and focus on my new job.  I don’t think she wanted me to skip this much time though.   This is only my fourth blog this week.  Usually by this time, I’ve written at least three times as many.  So how do I feel about this?  As I said, it doesn’t matter.
The best way to redeem the past is to change my present.  I don’t want to spend a lot of time in regret.  Yes, I know that writers are supposed to right every day.   Yes, I probably could have scheduled my time differently or not done other things.  Yes, I know that it’s easy to give in to the Enemy.  And it doesn’t matter.  I’m here now.  I’m writing now.  Tonight I may write again.  Or perhaps I’ll write two blogs tomorrow.  What I’m not going to do is spend time in regret.  I can’t change or undo one second of the past.  I can’t change or undo one thing I have done or anyone else has done.  All I can do is stay focused now.  That battle is large enough. 
Honestly, I’m feeling inspired again.  When I sat down to write, I feared that I might have forgotten everything or that I might have lost my passion for my Purpose.  I haven’t done either.  I still remember how to write and I still have passion for what I’m doing.  However, I also have passion for serving in other ways.  I’m passionate about reading, about encouraging others, about speaking well and about bringing hope.  I’m passionate about being a better father.  I’m passionate about reaching my goals.  In addition, I think I am, like most people, good at several things.  I don’t get to use all my gifts every day, so it was good to do my work in other ways.
So, although I didn’t write much this week, I used my time well and I was in Purpose constantly.  I did the things I was supposed to do.  I worked.  I encouraged.  I learned.  And I spent time with my Muse.  I love writing, but it doesn’t matter that I wrote less this week, because I served more (or at least the same amount).  I remembered to Get Started and Keep Going.  I just did them in a different way.