Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Turning a Corner

None of us knows what the next change is going to be, what unexpected opportunity is just around the corner, waiting a few months or a few years to change all the tenor of our lives.

Kathleen Norris

I have good news:  Success is guaranteed. 
All that is required, in my case, is that I put ______ more days into this and write _____ more blogs.  I also need to do at least ______ more radio shows and do _______ more videos.   I might also need to write _____ more books.  When I have reached those goals, then I will have become financially successful.  All my dreams will have come true.
Sadly, I don’t have those numbers. If I had, I might be far more excited.  It could be tomorrow, next week or next year.  So the best thing to do is keep moving forward until I reach my goal. 
Still, I feel like I turned a corner last night.  Something shifted for the better and I feel relieved.  The last few weeks have felt more difficult than usual with regard to staying in Purpose.  I’ve overslept several times.  Sitting down to write, I felt like each word was carved out of ice.  I even missed a couple of days of writing.  Then last night, after a particularly hard day, I prayed.  I wasn’t even praying for myself.  I was praying for someone close to me who has been going through a hard time.
Now maybe the two aren’t connected, but a few minutes later I got an idea for my next blog.  I was so excited that I rushed home and didn’t go through my usual routine of putting on my pajamas, getting a snack or even using the restroom.  All I wanted to do was write.  And that’s what I did.  I wrote almost with stopping.    I think I finished the blog faster than I’ve ever finished a blog.  Then I changed, went to the restroom, got a snack and wrote another one. 
This morning I woke up, scheduled a radio show and then walked for 25 minutes while I did my show. 
I don’t know if it’s the exercise or the prayer or the tapping or all the water I’ve been drinking, but I felt like I had passed a test and was now ready for the next level.  The test was the sense of dryness and struggle I’ve been feeling for the last two weeks.  Yes, I was doing my radio shows and the You Tube videos, but the blogs seemed like so much work.  Interestingly, before this happened, I decided to set a goal of 365 blogs by December 29, 2013.  
Yesterday I actually thought, “Maybe my goal was too ambitious.  Maybe I should go back to one blog a day.”  That seemed so reasonable.  The voice did not yell or insult me.  It seemed to be so understanding.  But something didn’t feel right.  I was listening to the Enemy.  It was being sympathetic, but it wasn’t being kind.  It was trying to divert me. 
So here I am writing.  I’ve gotten other things done, too.  I feel motivated again.  But that’s not even the best news.  The best news is that despite the uncertainty of the last two weeks, I still remembered to Get Started and Keep Going.  I remembered, even if not consciously, that determination is the emotion without emotion.  I just had to Keep Going no matter what, even if everything I was writing felt pointless.
It was a good lesson, one that I may have to repeat, because I can’t always count on feeling great.  I can count on fatigue, apathy, fear and procrastination.  But if I stay the course, I can also count on inner growth, increased self-esteem and, eventually, tangible results.  In Wake Up and Live, Dorthea Brande says, “Act as if it were impossible to fail.”  The first word in that sentence is “act,” which is short for action.  I have to act.  I have to do.  I have to write.  She didn’t say, “Do nothing as if it were impossible to fail.”  I have to do something.
So here I am doing something.  And I’m going to keep doing something until I get what I want from this life.  I’m going to keep writing, keep working, and keep moving forward.  Now the truth may be that even if I work diligently and well, I’m not guaranteed success.  Still, I’m going to act as if it were impossible to fail.  I’m going to act as if my success were guaranteed in a certain number of days, after a certain number of blogs, radio shows, videos and books.  That’s why I write at night when I’ve gotten home from work.  I want to get closer to my goal, whatever it may be.
So I Get Started and Keep Going.  I know when its’ time to stop, but it’s not now.  I just turned a corner and it’s time to keep moving.