Monday, October 28, 2013

Before Going to Sleep

“Don’t wait for opportunity.  Prepare for it.”

Robert Farrell

I wonder if I can write a blog in 20 minutes and then go to bed.  That would be nice and I would stay on track with my goal of two blogs a day.  So far, I’m not doing very well with that goal.  Sometimes I don’t do well.  Sometimes I get off track or I make the goal too hard.  At least that’s what I tell myself.   But what if it’s just hard…but not too hard?  Can I write one more blog tonight?
Honestly, this goal exhausts me sometimes.  Why did I do it?  Can’t I just quit?   Am I seeking attention?  Validation?  Approval?  Or am I trying to do a little good in this world?  Maybe all of the above.  All I know that is if I want to be a writer, I need to write.  So here I am, trying to put out one more blog, even though I should be sleeping.   
Sometimes, all that’s required is taking the next step.  And the next.  And the next.  So that’s what I’m doing: taking the next step.  Eventually I may drop, but at least I’ve gotten a little further ahead.  I’m a little bit closer.  The important thing, more than the blogs themselves, is doing the work, doing the writing.  “Process is more important than product and people are more important than process.” 
Right now I’m only worried about the process, about the writing.  Yes, this is hard.  I feel tired and cold and alone, but if I can just write a little more, I can reach my goal.  I can do two blogs a day.  Then I can reach my next goal, to go to bed. 
Of course, this might not have happened if I had gotten up earlier, but I didn’t.  I slept in until almost 8:00 a.m.  Tomorrow I don’t have that luxury.  I have to go to work.  I have to get up at 5:00 a.m. if I want to reach any of my goals. 
Why am I doing this to myself?
Because I want to be a writer.
Why do I want to be a writer?
Because I think that’s one of the best ways I can help the world.
So here I am, staying up late at night, trying to make a difference.  Trying to do something good.  Trying to inspire and lead by example.  This is what I can do.  I’m hyperactive, easily stressed, and not very good at many things.  But I can do this.  This is the talent God gave me and I want to use it.  I want to make a difference.
What do I mean by “make a difference?”  I mean that I want to produce something that will motivate and inspire.  I want to someone to read (or hear) my words and think, “I have a talent, too.  Maybe I don’t think it’s much, but I can use it to give people hope or relief or even joy.  Maybe what I do will inspire others.  Maybe I can make the world a better place, too.”
That’s my hope. 
I also hope to prosper financially.  I don’t need to be mega-wealthy, but I’d like e enough money to leave my children and grandchildren.  I want to buy my house on the beach.  I heard it said that less than 1% controls more than 80% of the wealth.  I don’t know if that’s true or not.  I’d like to see it distributed more evenly.  But, as I said, I don’t need to be mega-wealthy, though the more wealth I had, the more people I could help. 
Until that day, I hope I can help people with my writing.  I hope I can inspire people to find their way of helping others.  The only way I will know is if I Get Started and Keep Going.  A lot.  That’s why I’m trying to do two blogs a day.  That’s why I’m doing my radio shows and my videos and my books.  I’m trying to reach Malcolm Gladwell’s The Tipping Point, the point where this goes from being something small to something huge.  But it may just take time.  Ten thousand hours, again according to Gladwell.  That’s ten years.  I’ve been writing most of my life.  But what if it takes ten years of writing blogs before I am financially successful?   Do I want it that badly? Would I wait, like waiting for a lily to grow?  Would I be that patient?  I would.  All I want is to do this always.  If it means I have to work at it for ten years, so be it.  I don’t think I will, but if I do…then okay.
Okay, indeed.  That’s it for now.  I finished another blog.  I was able to Get Started and Keep Going.  And now I’m going to bed.