“I can be what I want to
And all I need is to
Get my boogie down
I can be what I want to
You know all I need is to
Get my boogie down
You can be what you want to
And all you need is to
Get your boogie down…”
Al Jarreau – Boogie Down
I feel like I got hit with an inactivity bomb today. I just couldn’t get motivated to do my work. In fact, I’m still not motivated, though I’m going to write anyway. This morning I did not stick to my usual routine. Nor did I do so this evening. All I did was look at Facebook. I’m not sure what’s going on here. The only time I felt productive was in the afternoon when I was sharing my vision with a friend. I don’t think it’s a lack of sleep or stress. I think it’s just the Enemy hitting me with a new tactic. It’s a lack of self-discipline to the nth degree. Still, here I am writing and thinking about my plan.
Maybe that’s the problem. I’m considering a plan that I think will bring more order and direction to my life. I’m very serious about this plan, though I don’t have all the details yet. The gist of it is that I will be focused on reaching all of my major goals in the next seven years. This is going to take more self-discipline than I’ve ever had before. But I don’t think it’s impossible.
Now all of sudden I’m tired. See how this works. If I’m writing in the morning, I get distracted by Facebook or e-mail. If I’m writing in the afternoon, I get distracted by work or kids. If I’m writing in the evening, I suddenly get tired. I think all of these distractions are as real and as powerful as I make them, because as I sit here writing, despite the fatigue, I feel peaceful and strong.
This is the discipline that is required to have a fulfilling life. I need to work every day towards my goals, or if I choose to not work towards them, I need to let that choice be a conscious decision, not just because “I don’t feel like it.” Right now I’m falling asleep, but I’m going to keep writing until I finish. I have to do this.
I was once told that I don’t have to do anything. I was told that everything is a choice and I accept the rewards or consequences of my choices. Normally, I agree with that. There are some things I feel like I have no choice about. I have no choice about the people I love. I must love them. I also have no choice about being in Purpose. I can’t go back to the way things were before. I MUST move forward. I MUST create change. I MUST do things differently. I can’t settle for what was. There are people who are depending on me to fulfill my mission on this planet.
So I keep writing, despite the hour, despite the fatigue, despite everything.
It’s not that I’m so vain that I think my writing will save the world or fix anyone’s life. It will, however, save my world and fix my life. That’s a big part of the reason I do this, because it’s making my life different and better. If my life becomes different and better, maybe I can show others how to make their lives different and better, also.
That may be why the Enemy is pushing so hard. I find it curious that the week I’m supposed to work on my plan is the same week I don’t follow my normal (and disciplined) routine. Of course, I shouldn’t be surprised. Here is a list of some the things that the Enemy has thrown at me:
· Mindless pursuits
· Lack of vision.
Here’s what I have to fight those things:
The first list is longer. The second list is more powerful. It’s far more powerful because the Source from which they come is also far more powerful.
Tomorrow I get back to my routine. As the song says, “I can be what I want to, and all I need is to get my boogie down.”
I Get Started and I Keep Going. And I keep writing.