Wednesday, September 11, 2013

The Inactivity Bomb

“I can be what I want to

And all I need is to

Get my boogie down

I can be what I want to

You know all I need is to

Get my boogie down

You can be what you want to

And all you need is to

Get your boogie down…”

Al Jarreau – Boogie Down

I feel like I got hit with an inactivity bomb today.  I just couldn’t get motivated to do my work.  In fact, I’m still not motivated, though I’m going to write anyway.  This morning I did not stick to my usual routine.  Nor did I do so this evening.  All I did was look at Facebook.  I’m not sure what’s going on here.  The only time I felt productive was in the afternoon when I was sharing my vision with a friend.  I don’t think it’s a lack of sleep or stress.  I think it’s just the Enemy hitting me with a new tactic.  It’s a lack of self-discipline to the nth degree.  Still, here I am writing and thinking about my plan.
Maybe that’s the problem.  I’m considering a plan that I think will bring more order and direction to my life.  I’m very serious about this plan, though I don’t have all the details yet.  The gist of it is that I will be focused on reaching all of my major goals in the next seven years.  This is going to take more self-discipline than I’ve ever had before.  But I don’t think it’s impossible.
Now all of sudden I’m tired.  See how this works.  If I’m writing in the morning, I get distracted by Facebook or e-mail.  If I’m writing in the afternoon, I get distracted by work or kids.  If I’m writing in the evening, I suddenly get tired.  I think all of these distractions are as real and as powerful as I make them, because as I sit here writing, despite the fatigue, I feel peaceful and strong.
This is the discipline that is required to have a fulfilling life.  I need to work every day towards my goals, or if I choose to not work towards them, I need to let that choice be a conscious decision, not just because “I don’t feel like it.”  Right now I’m falling asleep, but I’m going to keep writing until I finish.  I have to do this. 
I was once told that I don’t have to do anything.  I was told that everything is a choice and I accept the rewards or consequences of my choices.  Normally, I agree with that.  There are some things I feel like I have no choice about.  I have no choice about the people I love.  I must love them.  I also have no choice about being in Purpose.  I can’t go back to the way things were before.  I MUST move forward.  I MUST create change.  I MUST do things differently.  I can’t settle for what was.  There are people who are depending on me to fulfill my mission on this planet.
So I keep writing, despite the hour, despite the fatigue, despite everything.
It’s not that I’m so vain that I think my writing will save the world or fix anyone’s life.  It will, however, save my world and fix my life.  That’s a big part of the reason I do this, because it’s making my life different and better.   If my life becomes different and better, maybe I can show others how to make their lives different and better, also.
That may be why the Enemy is pushing so hard.  I find it curious that the week I’m supposed to work on my plan is the same week I don’t follow my normal (and disciplined) routine.  Of course, I shouldn’t be surprised.  Here is a list of some the things that the Enemy has thrown at me:
·      Distractions
·      Fatigue
·      Fear
·      Jealousy
·      Depression
·      Anger
·      Self-pity
·      Busyness
·      Problems
·      Mindless pursuits
·      Lack of vision.

Here’s what I have to fight those things:
·      Determination.
·      Action.
·      Love.

The first list is longer.  The second list is more powerful.  It’s far more powerful because the Source from which they come is also far more powerful. 
Tomorrow I get back to my routine.  As the song says, “I can be what I want to, and all I need is to get my boogie down.” 
I Get Started and I Keep Going.  And I keep writing.