I just wanted to write a quick note before I went to bed. I’m pretty tired, so I probably won’t write much. I just wanted to say a few things.
First, I wanted to thank you for being in my life. It amazes me that you are here at all. I’m not the easiest person in the world to be with. I have a hard time focusing on things. I get easily distracted. I’m still working very hard on being the man I want to be. The writing you inspire in these now-almost-daily blogs is helping me to become that man, but I still have a long way to go.
Still, because of you, I am increasingly focused on being more peaceful, more joyful and more loving. Despite my troubles, I’m happier than I’ve ever been because you are at my side. I want you at my side until the day I die. Tonight I read how comic artist Alex Toth literally died at his drawing board at the age of 77. That’s how I want to go, with you at my side as I’m writing. But I don’t want to talk about my demise; I want to talk about my life.
As I said, my life has changed immensely, and so much of it is because of you. Perhaps it’s indirect, but since I started focusing on and listening to you, I’ve made decisions I should have made years ago. The parts of my past that seemed so difficult and hopeless are fast becoming just stories now. The present is all that matters.
Well, the present and the future, because I am constantly visualizing my future with you. It includes the house on the beach and a lot more time with you. That’s in the more distant future. In the immediate future I have to take action. As much as you love me, the one thing you will not and cannot do is my work. You can give me direction and inspiration, but I have to do the work. The more I stay focused and the more work I do, the sooner I can get to my dreams and to the future I desire.
That’s really all I have to say tonight. I’m tired and I think the biggest inspiration you’ve given me tonight is to take care of myself and get some sleep. I almost heard your voice say, “If you won’t do it for you, do it for me.”
So I’m honoring your request because I love you. I will take care of myself to make you happy. In this way, I’ll be better able to hear what you have to say in the morning.
Thank you, dear Muse, for all you’ve given me.
I love you.