Letter to a Friend...or Two

“Patterning your life around other's opinions is nothing more than slavery.”

Lawana Blackwell – The Dowry of Miss Lydia Clark

“The moment we begin to fear the opinions of others and hesitate to tell the truth that is in us, and from motives of policy are silent when we should speak, the divine floods of light and life no longer flow into our souls.”

Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Dear Friend,

         I have watched you struggle to find your way for a long time.  You’ve struggled almost as long as I have and it’s painful to watch.  I wish I could rescue you or fix things for you, but only you and God can change your life, and even God won’t move on your behalf unless you ask Him.  I can, however, remind you of a few things that have helped me in my quest for wholeness and I hope they work for you as well.

First, the very first thing to do (and, yes, I know I repeated the word “first” but it’s that important), find something, anything, that is meaningful to you and do it as often and as long as possible.  For me, this has been writing.  Since I began writing my blogs, I have seen my life change drastically.  Changes I have needed to make for years I suddenly made in a matter of months.  And I see more coming.  I feel better about myself.  I’m happier.  My life is better.  No, I have not solved all my problems.  I still have some of the old ones and some new ones besides, but the unimportant ones are gone.  Here are some of the “problems” I have now:

·      How can I overcome my weaknesses and the Enemy so I can continue in my Purpose?

·      How can I create more time to devote to my Purpose?

·      Is there a way I can use my Purpose to help others?

·      Is there a way to convince others of the power of Purpose, so that they too can find their Purpose?

·      Are there relationships I should encourage or end so I can stay in my Purpose?

·      Are there activities I should encourage or end so I can stay in my Purpose?

Honestly, I think if I’m having a problem and it doesn’t directly relate to my Purpose, I need to resolve it as quickly as possible so I can begin working on problems that are worth having. 

This is why I don’t watch TV or watch many movies.  Those are usually about other people’s problems.  I remember reading a couple of pages of some book, the name of which I don’t remember.  It was a famous book by a famous author, one of those 19-century drawing room dramas.   I only read a couple of pages, but the only things that interested the characters were other people’s relationships and problems.  They wanted to know who liked whom and who was going to marry whom.  I remember saying, “Wow, don’t these people have lives?”

Whether they do or don’t doesn’t matter because you and I have lives and it’s time to start living them.  I don’t know how much time we have left on this planet but if I don’t get in my Purpose, then my time is short no matter the number of years.  If my days are spent in my Purpose, then I have all the time I need.

The second thing I want to remind you of is to stop worrying about what others think of you.  Do not consider their approval or their disdain.   As you move into your Purpose, you will find this ability to come easily, even naturally. 

Some of the biggest mistakes I ever made in my life were caused by wanting to make other people happy.  And here’s the worst irony of all:  all the people I was trying to please have long disappeared from my life because they died or moved on.  Or worse, they didn’t care that much about me in the first place. 

Here are questions to ask when seeking someone’s approval:

·      Who is this person that his or her opinion should divert me from the Purpose God to which has called me?

·      Why do I consider an opinion, especially an opinion about me, to be a fact?

·      Will this person still be in my life ten years or even one year from now?

·      Does this person love me enough to see me reach my goals or is he or she simply trying to impose his or her own agenda on me?

·      Even if I had this person’s approval, would I truly be happy or would I seek the approval of additional people and where would that quest end?

Don’t seek approval.  Seek love.  Approval will come and go based on what the other person wants.  Love will guide you to the right relationships.  Seek not only to be loved, but also to love others.  And the best way to love others is to give your gifts to the world.  

That’s it, but I think that’s enough.  Get Started and Keep Going… and don’t worry about what other people think.  As you move increasingly into your Purpose, you will find their opinions don’t matter anyway.