Tuesday, May 13, 2014

What It Takes

I wasn’t crazy about what I wrote earlier tonight.  Even the title – I Wrote Something – feels like I didn’t put in my best efforts.  I did, but it just didn’t seem like it was enough.  What would be enough?  Perhaps one more blog before I go to bed.  It’s nice how writing takes away my angst and uncertainty.  That is the part of the power of Purpose.  It gets me focused. 
Tonight I thought it would be relaxing to watch a DVD of an old TV show.  It was a good show, but when it was over, I felt like I had wasted time.  Maybe that’s my Inner Critic.  It doesn’t matter.  That time is gone, so all I can do is use this time wisely.  The show, which I won’t name, was good.   It was very popular in the 1980’s, and it still holds up fairly well, but while I was watching it, I wondered why I was spending time watching other people have dramas and problems.  I think life has enough problems and I don’t need to watch other people, especially fictional people, have more problems. 
When I think about my own life, I know I also have a tendency to invite unnecessary problems.  I do this by focusing on other people’s negative behavior.  I do this by complaining.  I do this by not training and managing my thought life.  I do this by worrying about things that haven’t happened and probably never will.  I do this by avoiding my work. 
I haven’t done my radio show for days.  I also haven’t exercised enough.  I need to drink more water.  But here’s the thing.  I’m being vigilant.  I know where my weaknesses and lacks are.  I also know where my strengths are, and that’s why I’m writing. 
Here’s the other thing.  When I am done, I will have done one more blog.  I will be one step closer to my goal.  I will have one more piece of work.  So even though I feel discouraged and uncertain of my abilities, I’m still writing.  And that’s what it takes sometimes. 
It takes being uncomfortable. 
It takes self-doubt.
It takes doing your work when you don’t feel like it.
It takes doing your work when your best doesn’t seem very good.
It takes uncertainty that the goal will ever be reached. 
It takes being ignored. 
It takes fighting your own worst impulses every day just to produce something that is hopefully halfway decent. 
It takes quantity and quality. 
It takes working every day towards the goal.
You just Keep Going.  If you stop, then you Get Started again as quickly as possible.  But try not to stop too often or for too long.