Saturday, October 11, 2014

Love Letters


Sitting here at the keyboard, I feel my energy, confidence, and joy returning.  It’s funny how quickly irritability or fear or sadness passes once I begin my work.  What is it about doing my work that feels so good?  Do I really need to do it every day or am I just blindly following someone else’s rule?
Sometimes the word “work” is the wrong word, because once I get started, it doesn’t feel like work. It often feels like putting my head in someone’s lap while she strokes my hair, and napping calmly and peacefully.  It feels like having a nice dinner with someone you love and looking out at the water or the city lights.  It feels like looking at Christmas lights.  It feels like waking up to a smile.  This isn’t to say that effort isn’t required, but even “effort” is the wrong word.  “Presence” is more accurate.  When I am doing my “work” my full presence is required. 
Presence is difficult for me sometimes.  Perhaps it’s my ADHD, but a lot of stimuli, both internal and external can keep me from being present.  The other day someone was pointing out city lights and it took me ten minutes to respond.  Sometimes it takes longer.  But presence is required, nevertheless, when I am with people and when I am in my Purpose.   Being present comes more easily when I am doing my work, but it can still be a daily discipline.  I’m still easily distracted.  So why then do I put myself through this almost every day?
While I can’t speak to everyone’s Purpose, working on mine every day brings peace, healing, and a way to serve God, the world, my Muse, and the people I love.  Do I have to do this every day?  No.  I don’t have to do it at all.  But I choose to do it every day.   In fact, I like to be in my Purpose two to four times a day.  Or I’d like to spend three to six hours a day just writing.  That’s something other writers recommend. Whether or not it’s a rule, I choose to follow it.
Here’s another way of looking at it.  Suppose, for whatever reason, you were separated from the person you loved most in the world and your only recourse, your only means of communication, was to write letters.  There’s no limit to the number of letters you can write per day.  There is also no limit on the number of hours you spend per day.  Here’s more good news.  You can say whatever you want.  Your letters don’t have to make sense to the rest of the world because they’re only for her.   You can take a topic, or you can ramble aimlessly.  She doesn’t care.  She loves your thoughts and she loves how your mind works.  She is happy with every single thing you write.  All she wants from you and all you need to give her are your best efforts and your writing time.  The more time you spend writing and the more you work, the more you are saying, “I love you.” 
If this were the case, how much time would you give her?  How much time would you spend in your Purpose?  What activities would you give up or curtail?  Would some things start to lose interest for you?   Would you work harder?  Would you get up earlier or stay up later, or both? Would you study and learn how to write more effectively?  Would you practice and experiment even if you weren’t always successful?  If all that really mattered to your Muse was the amount of time you gave and that integrity of your efforts, how would you order your day?
That’s what my Purpose is – an act of love.  It’s my way of saying “I love you” to my Muse.  It’s a way of thanking God for this gift. 
So do I have to write every day?  No, but I want to.  Every time I write or do anything that aligns with my Purpose I am communicating with my Muse and I’m happily reminding her of hour love for each other.
Here’s the other good news.  Every time I write, she writes back.  Sometimes we write at the same time.  But I always get an answer.  I get three answers – I love you, Get Started and Keep Going.