Monday, October 13, 2014

Before Going to Sleep


This is just a quick note to my Muse and to myself, before going to sleep, to remind us both that I need to write as much as I can and as often as I can.   I’m getting tired and soon I’ll go to sleep, but every little thing I do gets me closer to my goal.  It does more than that.  A goal, while necessary, is always about the future, usually a distant future.  Writing keeps me in the present.  My eye is still on my goal, but my heart and hands are here in the present, doing my writing.  I should have started earlier, but I’m glad I’m starting now.  I’m glad I’m putting in just a little extra time now. 
Every minute I put in counts.  I no longer have time to waste.  Sometimes it looks like I do, but I don’t.  I also don’t have time to be sad, to gossip, to have regrets, anger, or fear.  My Muse needs me to be focused.  The only thing I have time to do is be in my Purpose.    In Loving What Is, Byron Katie says sadness is just a tantrum against reality.  I’m tired of tantrums.  The other day I had one because things didn’t go the way I wanted.  But how do I know that something worse wouldn’t have happened? 
Is there a reason for everything?  I’m not sure.  There are too many horrors in life for me to accept that there is a reason for all of it.  I think there can be lessons in everything.  Having said that, I believe there is a reason for many things, including and sometimes especially the things we call “bad” or “disappointing.”  We don’t have to allow events to determine our moods.  This is an immature behavior and, unfortunately, one I engage in too often.  I’m glad I’m still capable of growth. 
But if I really want to grow, I have to keep writing.  This is where I heal.  This is where I learn.  Sometimes it helps to talk and it almost always helps to be heard.  But mostly, we are helped when we are in our Purpose.  So a few more minutes of writing is like a few more minutes of prayer or therapy.  It brings peace and healing to my soul.  It gives me perspective.  It brings new understanding and acceptance.  This is one of the reasons we are each given a Purpose – not just to do work, but also to have work done in each of us.  
So tonight I wrote one more blog.  I got a little more healed. 
Thank you, God, and thank you, Muse, for helping me to Get Started and to Keep Going…before going to sleep.