One's philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes ... and the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility.
“If you don’t make a decision then time will make it for you and time will always side against you!”
“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”
Get to it. What is it I’m supposed to be doing? Am I choosing to do what I’ve been chosen to do? I’m either doing it or I’m not. There is no middle ground. So I need to start writing. Although I love writing, I realize that it’s not going to come easily. It’s not just the writing itself, but all the external things in my life, and more importantly, the things inside me that keep me from writing. The external things in my life include tasks and chores. I can take on all these gladly, but only if I structure my life around my writing. Otherwise, I get resentful, frustrated and rushed.
Still, what is internal is far less of a problem than what is external. That’s where the real battle is. That’s where the Enemy is. My greatest internal battle is how easily I am distracted. Often these blogs take longer than they should because I allow myself to become easily distracted.
· My attention is directe to a book I haven’t looked at for a long time, but suddenly I’m dying to look at it.
· There’s a game on the Internet that I just have to play.
· Suddenly I feel the overwhelming urge to clean the place.
· I wonder if I should go clean my car or my garage.
· I start worrying about things that haven’t happened yet, and probably won’t.
· Facebook or other websites become even more compelling and fascinating.
· My mind starts to wander over to past events.
It is often for these or similar reasons that writing a blog can take far longer than it should. By nature I am easily distracted. I am also inconsistent. I recognize these internal enemies. I recognize that they are a part of me and that I may spend my entire life fighting them.
In addition to distractions, I am also easily beset my doubts, fear and a giant blank space in my head where my ideas ought to be. I wonder if I’m wasting my time. I wonder if I will receive any notice or make any money. The more I write, the more I want to write, but I have no guarantees that I will be successful as a writer. The competition is vast and there are people far more talented. In addition, there are people seemingly far less talented who are doing this every day and making money at it. Talent alone does not guarantee success. My fear can feel huge. I may spend my entire life fighting this, too.
I know I’ve mentioned all these things before, but I want to be clear about how constant this battle is.
Yes, I love writing. Yes, I feel called to do it. In fact, the urge to write gets stronger in me the more I do it. But that doesn’t mean I get a free pass. If I want to be a writer, I have to write. That’s it. I have to write. It’s not enough to talk about writing or dream about it or read about it. I have to sit down and do it. In order to write, I have to focus my life and priorities around it. I am rarely going to be given the time to do this. There will always be something else to do…always! I have to make the time. In addition to all this, I also realize that I need to work on my writing at least twice a day, maybe more. So the pressure is on.
Still, it doesn’t feel like pressure; it feels like part of the life that I am choosing, or the life that has been chosen for me. This life has been chosen for me. It reminds me of how the military assigns certain jobs to people based on their skills and abilities. Before joining, potential recruits are given a test. Based on the results, they are assigned to a specific kind of work. Still, I can’t help but wonder how accurate this process is. Considering that most of the people taking this test are about 18 years old with only a high school education and very little experience and few skills, how can one test accurately assess their future vocation? It’s probably the best it can be though, given all the variables of chance and human nature.
My calling, however, is 100% accurate. There’s no error. The One who has called me to do this has made no mistakes. I have no doubt that I’m supposed to write. Interestingly, when I was 18, I said that I wanted to write then, too. And I have written. Journals, term papers, school newspaper stories, books, little sayings on Facebook, articles and anything else I can get my hands on. I’m better at this than anything else I do. When I was chosen to do this, no mistake was made.
I feel good now. I started my day off as an offering to God by doing my work. I know I need to return later today, but now I can focus on other things for a while. I was in my Purpose and I stayed focused (mostly). There’s a whole new day waiting for me. It’s time to Get Started and Keep Going. Wait. I’ve already done those things. Have you? If you’re reading this, I hope you will make the same choice. Your calling is just as important as mine. Get Started. Keep Going. Get to it.