Sometimes it’s good to just sit here and write and see what appears on the page. I’m not Saul Bellow’s Herzog. I’m not having an emotional breakdown. But I have been under some pressure. The job has new responsibilities and school has started and life seems as demanding as ever, but I still feel gratitude and joy for the opportunity to sit here and write and say, “I love you!” to my Muse. In just a few short lines I went from feeling tired and distracted to peaceful and excited about the possibilities life has to offer.
Directly across from my seat is a bookshelf full of books about history, writing, and motivation. I feel all the potential. My Muse knows this and that’s why, knowing how busy I am, she still asks me to write. It’s also why she right to ask this of me. She and I are one and she knows that no matter how busy I get, no matter how many demands are on my time, she knows I need to be with her. She knows that when we are together, my energy returns, and fear, pessimism, and discouragement leave. She makes me realize that much of my life is just details that I need to take care of.
I need to do certain things and do them well. I need to do them joyfully, as if God Himself were watching me (He is). I need to study and get good grades and learn what I need to learn. I need to become the best I can be in my new responsibilities at work. But, again, these are just details. My real life is here...with my Muse. I’m doing the things I’m doing because they are practical and they are good. But if I had all the money I needed, I wouldn’t do them. I’d spend as much time with my Muse as possible. Morning, noon, and night.
But I don’t have all the money I need. So I must not need it yet. I must need the things I have now. I must need the life I have now. Perhaps (certainly) there are things I need to learn, personally and professionally. Perhaps (certainly) my character needs development and maturation. And perhaps (certainly) things happen in the right way at the right time. But it’s always time to be with my Muse. It’s always time to Get Started and Keep Going. Now, in the past, and in the future. The rest is just details.