Monday, March 9, 2015

One More Step

I’m tired, but I’m not giving up.
Sometimes it seems that for every step forward I take, I also take two steps back.  But I’m not giving up.
Some things in my life are better, but the ones that are worse seem much worse.  But I’m not giving up.
I’m not giving up.
I’m not giving up.
I’m not giving up.
In order to say that, I have to know what I’m fighting for.  I do.  It’s my goal.  It’s personal and private and all mine, but whether I keep it secret or announce it to the whole world, it’s mine.  And I think this is what each of us needs.  We need a goal.  We need something worth striving for, maybe even something worth dying for.  Because something worth dying for is the same thing that gives us a reason to live.  When we have a goal, life becomes worth living.             
It’s not that it wasn’t worth living before and it’s not that life isn’t a gift unto itself.  But a goal, a worthwhile goal, makes life extra special.  It brings joy to our lives while, perhaps paradoxically, brings more difficulty as well.  Or maybe the difficulty would have been there anyway.  Or maybe by avoiding the difficulties, we avoid the joy.  I don’t know.  All I know is that I have a goal and I’m not giving up. 
When I was 15 years old and living in Monterey Bay area I had a goal to go to the San Diego Comic Con.  Then I made it my goal to get straight A’s.  I was fortunate to be successful in both.  Now I have another goal.  Sometimes it seems that life gets in the way.  It doesn’t.  Troubles come, distractions come, interruptions come, to test our resolve. 
So I’m not giving up. 
In A Return to Love, Marianne Williamson says, “The spiritual path, then, is simple the journey of living our lives.  Everyone is on a spiritual path.  Most people just don’t know it.”
But if I’m on a path, if I’m on a journey, it makes more sense to have a destination. 
I have one.  And I’m not giving up.
I’m going to Get Started and Keep Going. 

And if there’s nothing new or nothing original about this blog, even that doesn’t matter.  All that matters is that I took one more step…and that I’m not giving up.