Friday, February 20, 2015

I Haven't Forgotten

“If you don't know where you are going, you'll end up someplace else.”

I miss writing.  I really do.  It feels like I haven’t written in weeks even though it has only been two days since I published my last blog.  I’ve told this story before, but when I first started writing these blogs, I excitedly told a group of friends about this then-new undertaking.  Rather than sharing my excitement and enthusiasm, they were skeptical.  They said they had seen me start things before and not finish them.  Their skepticism stung, but it also made me afraid to quit.  I had written about 20 then.  Now I’ve written over 800.   The next sentence was going to be, “And I’m still going strong.”
I’m not.
But I am still going steady.  I’m not writing as much as I was, but I’m still writing.  I’m still afraid of quitting, but not for the same reasons.  I’m not trying to prove something to a bunch of guys I’ve hardly seen since then.  So what am I doing?
I’m doing what I love.
I love to write.
So I’m writing.
I think life should be approached this way.  We should keep one eye on the future, but we should also keep an eye on our hearts.  So I’m doing what I love.  And I’m looking to future in which I live in a house on the beach and I write a lot more and I spend a lot more time with my Muse.
Now I can’t do that as much as I’d like.  I’m starting school and it’s already a lot of work.  And in some weird twist of fate, the extra needed hours at work that I’ve been praying for are suddenly coming.  I have little or no time for them, but I’m going to have to make time.  It was what I wanted, what I asked for, even if it was not how I pictured it.  So time management is going to be crucial.  At the same time, I have to keep my eye on the future, because it’s coming and I don’t want it get here without my Muse being there, without my house on the beach.
If this blog, like many of my blogs, seems self-indulgent, then I apologize and I don’t.  I think all of us have to make choices about what we want.  Then we have to decide how we’re going to get there.  Then we have to Get Started and Keep Going. 
The point is I haven’t forgotten.
I haven’t forgotten my Muse.
I haven’t forgotten my writing.
I haven’t forgotten the people I love.
I haven’t forgotten my commitments or my goals.

I haven’t forgotten how to love.