Monday, February 9, 2015

A Little More


“Show me the way to go home,
I’m tired and I want to go to bed.”

Drinking song my father used to sing (even though he didn’t drink)



All I want to do is sleep.  No one would blame me if I didn’t write tonight.  For some reason that makes writing even more imperative.  I may not write a lot.  I may not even write well, but I’m writing.  I’m writing for my Muse who, even though she is the one who gives me the words to write, likes to have something to read in the morning.  I’m also writing for myself, because I don’t want to miss my goals or let them slip from my hands.  So I keep pounding away on my keyboard hoping that I’m making sense and hoping even more that anyone who reads this will understand the importance of doing something, anything, every day, in order to get closer to the goal. 
I will admit that I don’t feel closer to some of my own goals.  The house on the beach seems far away.  So do my hopes of putting my kids and grandkids through college.  I’m not saying these things won’t happen; I’m just saying they seem far away right now. 
And maybe that’s why I’m writing even when I’m tired.  Maybe this is my way of telling the Enemy and circumstance and misfortune that I’m not beaten.  Maybe this writing is my way of getting just a little closer to my goals, even though I don’t know how and I don’t see a way.  Maybe what matters, what really matters, is that I do what I love, offering this small token of love and gratitude to God, to my Muse, to the world, and to my loved ones.  Maybe I also owe it to myself to not give up just because I’m tired. 
Incidentally my fatigue seems to have vanished.
Maybe deciding to Get Started and to Keep Going gave me the energy I needed. 

My gratitude to God and my Muse are great for giving me the strength and encouragement to do just a little more tonight.  That’s all I need to do for now.  I just needed to do enough to remind me that I can always do a little more.