Letter to a Friend...or Two

“Patterning your life around other's opinions is nothing more than slavery.”

Lawana Blackwell – The Dowry of Miss Lydia Clark

“The moment we begin to fear the opinions of others and hesitate to tell the truth that is in us, and from motives of policy are silent when we should speak, the divine floods of light and life no longer flow into our souls.”

Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Dear Friend,

         I have watched you struggle to find your way for a long time.  You’ve struggled almost as long as I have and it’s painful to watch.  I wish I could rescue you or fix things for you, but only you and God can change your life, and even God won’t move on your behalf unless you ask Him.  I can, however, remind you of a few things that have helped me in my quest for wholeness and I hope they work for you as well.

First, the very first thing to do (and, yes, I know I repeated the word “first” but it’s that important), find something, anything, that is meaningful to you and do it as often and as long as possible.  For me, this has been writing.  Since I began writing my blogs, I have seen my life change drastically.  Changes I have needed to make for years I suddenly made in a matter of months.  And I see more coming.  I feel better about myself.  I’m happier.  My life is better.  No, I have not solved all my problems.  I still have some of the old ones and some new ones besides, but the unimportant ones are gone.  Here are some of the “problems” I have now:

·      How can I overcome my weaknesses and the Enemy so I can continue in my Purpose?

·      How can I create more time to devote to my Purpose?

·      Is there a way I can use my Purpose to help others?

·      Is there a way to convince others of the power of Purpose, so that they too can find their Purpose?

·      Are there relationships I should encourage or end so I can stay in my Purpose?

·      Are there activities I should encourage or end so I can stay in my Purpose?

Honestly, I think if I’m having a problem and it doesn’t directly relate to my Purpose, I need to resolve it as quickly as possible so I can begin working on problems that are worth having. 

This is why I don’t watch TV or watch many movies.  Those are usually about other people’s problems.  I remember reading a couple of pages of some book, the name of which I don’t remember.  It was a famous book by a famous author, one of those 19-century drawing room dramas.   I only read a couple of pages, but the only things that interested the characters were other people’s relationships and problems.  They wanted to know who liked whom and who was going to marry whom.  I remember saying, “Wow, don’t these people have lives?”

Whether they do or don’t doesn’t matter because you and I have lives and it’s time to start living them.  I don’t know how much time we have left on this planet but if I don’t get in my Purpose, then my time is short no matter the number of years.  If my days are spent in my Purpose, then I have all the time I need.

The second thing I want to remind you of is to stop worrying about what others think of you.  Do not consider their approval or their disdain.   As you move into your Purpose, you will find this ability to come easily, even naturally. 

Some of the biggest mistakes I ever made in my life were caused by wanting to make other people happy.  And here’s the worst irony of all:  all the people I was trying to please have long disappeared from my life because they died or moved on.  Or worse, they didn’t care that much about me in the first place. 

Here are questions to ask when seeking someone’s approval:

·      Who is this person that his or her opinion should divert me from the Purpose God to which has called me?

·      Why do I consider an opinion, especially an opinion about me, to be a fact?

·      Will this person still be in my life ten years or even one year from now?

·      Does this person love me enough to see me reach my goals or is he or she simply trying to impose his or her own agenda on me?

·      Even if I had this person’s approval, would I truly be happy or would I seek the approval of additional people and where would that quest end?

Don’t seek approval.  Seek love.  Approval will come and go based on what the other person wants.  Love will guide you to the right relationships.  Seek not only to be loved, but also to love others.  And the best way to love others is to give your gifts to the world.  

That’s it, but I think that’s enough.  Get Started and Keep Going… and don’t worry about what other people think.  As you move increasingly into your Purpose, you will find their opinions don’t matter anyway.  

New Habits

“Motivation is what gets you started.  Habit is what keeps you going.”

Jim Ryun

“The hard must become habit.  The habit must become easy.  The easy must become beautiful.”

Doug Henning


“Men's natures are alike; it is their habits that separate them.”

Confucius

I am trying to create new habits.  It’s that simple.  That’s why I’m up at 5:00 and writing by 5:30.  I’m trying a new time management system, based on Michael Masterson’s work in The Pledge.  I’ve only been doing this for three days and I’ve already struggled and been inconsistent, but I’m still trying.  I feel that same sense of determination I have felt when writing my blogs.  I don’t feel like doing this, but when that feeling arises, I just keep working.

I’ve said before that determination is the emotionless emotion.  At this moment as I’m writing, I don’t feel joy or anger.  I don’t feel happy or sad.  I’ve just made the decision to write.  I will admit to a small sense of satisfaction.  I guess I’m also feeling

·      Powerful

·      Happy

·      In control of my life

·      Excited

·      Optimistic

These feelings came though after I started writing, not before.  I’m increasingly aware that I have the ability to control my thoughts and therefore my actions.  I’m also increasingly aware of how often, how incredibly and insanely often, I have not controlled my thoughts.  As a result I have spent far too much of my thought life focused on the following:

·      Complaints

·      Troubles that haven’t happened (or never happened)

·      Grudges

·      Discomfort

·      Fear

·      Anger

I have, at every moment, every single moment, the sacred ability to choose my thought life.  I don’t necessarily need to be constantly giddy with excitement, but neither am I required to use my thoughts or my spoken words in a negative fashion.  I don’t have to burden others or myself with unnecessary pain.

I use the word “unnecessary” because like Eckhart Tolle says in The Power of Now, the vast majority of our pain is unnecessary.  Life will bring enough pain without me adding to it.  When I say that life will bring pain, I am not being cynical or pessimistic, I am simply stating a fact.  Life is difficult at times.  But as M. Scott Peck says in The Road Less Traveled, when I know it is difficult, it is suddenly not as difficult.

I think difficulties can be classified in three ways:

First, there are the difficulties that come because of my own attitudes and thoughts, such as the list mentioned above.  We have a choice here.  I’m not saying that it’s always easy.  If I am in the throes of depression or fear, I may need to fight hard to get out.  I may need to call a friend and talk.  While it does not always seem like it, it is ultimately our choice.  Even if it is physiological, we have the choice to get help.

Then there are spiritual difficulties.  My experience has shown me consistently and constantly that there is a spiritual world.  It is often more powerful than the physical world.  I have been oppressed by spiritual elements and I have been rescued just as many times, if not more.  I want to be careful here to say that not every problem or unhappy thought is a spiritual attack, but all my problems can be addressed with prayer, faith and gratitude.  Ultimately, the source of the problem is not as crucial as my response to the problem.  I will say that prayer and asking for prayer has lifted me from deep depression and fears many, many times and this has always been a gateway to joy.

There are those difficulties that come when something completely unexpected occurs.  The difficulty is compounded because I wasn’t prepared for it.  Still, I should remind myself that something unpleasant was likely to occur and then I can realign my thinking or ask for help, or both.

Here’s what it ultimately comes down to:  I can choose how I want to think. 

The other day I was playing outside with my daughters.  It was hot and as I was complaining as I tend to do when I am uncomfortable.  “Whining” would be a better word.  Then I realized as another wave of heat hit me, “I feel this heat, but I also feel a slight breeze afterwards.”  So I made the decision that each time I felt the heat, in each second, in each moment I would make the choice to whine or not whine.  We kept playing. 

In each second and in each moment, I can make the choice to create new habits of positive thought and actions.  When a negative thought comes, I can treat it like a wave of heat and make a choice.    I am used to my old habits, but I can create new ones.  Because these habits are more positive in nature, they will take more self-discipline and focus than negative habits. 

Negative habits are acquired far more easily and quickly because they are often choices made by lack of presence.  But I can discipline myself to think differently and to therefore live differently from the way I used to think and live and differently from the way so many others think and live, which is really a form of slavery.  But each of us has our own key to freedom.

We can choose freedom immediately, in each second and in each moment.  We can create new habits.  We can Get Started and Keep Going…and we can do it now.

Change My Time, Change My Life

“Time is what we want most, but what we use worst.”


William Penn

“Don’t be fooled by the calendar. There are only as many days in the year as you make use of. One man gets only a week’s value out of a year while another man gets a full year’s value out of a week.”


Charles Richards

“This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it.”


Ralph Waldo Emerson

It’s 5:38 and I was supposed to start writing at 5:30.  Eight minutes may not seem like a lot, but if I only have 40 minutes, it is a huge amount of time.  I’m really trying to change my life, but I can only do that but changing the way I use my time.   Well, that’s not the only way.  I also have to change my attitudes, my beliefs about my abilities and my belief in the possibility of my success.

Still, time management is crucial.  That, along with my health, is my greatest resource.  Here are some common sayings about time:

·      Where did the time go?

·      Time waits for no man.

I am amazed how much I can get done in the space of a few short minutes…or how little.  It all depends on how I use those minutes.  Staying focused is a huge struggle for me.  I don’t think most people realize how much effort goes into just sitting here and writing and not looking at Facebook or playing a game or getting up to do something else that is not writing.  Sometimes every sentence is an accomplishment for me because each one represents a tiny victory.  My mind says, “You got that one written.  Can you do the next one?”

Sometimes, because of my ADHD, a blog that should take only a half hour or less can take up to two hours.  I have to fight my distractibility constantly.  And, as I said, sometimes I have to fight it with each sentence.  By the way, even inspiration is no help here.  I still get sidetracked sometimes.  The only thing, the only thing that works is to write each sentence, one at a time until I am done.  Sometimes though, each sentence is torture.  Well, no.  Each sentence, as I said, is a victory.  The torture is the constant, unrelenting temptation to be distracted. 

The other day I was telling my class that some teachers believe that the most effective learning should be fun while other teachers believe it should be hard work, almost drudgery.   The truth is that it is both.  While I’m writing these very sentences, I am having fun.  There’s a sense of power and strength in what I’m doing.  I feel better about myself and about life in general.  Order, self-control and discipline are created.  At the same time, it’s a battle.  I’m fighting to stay focused. 

I’m fighting for my life.

I don’t mean to put too dramatic a spin on it, but that’s exactly what I’m doing when I begin my work.   I’m fighting for my life.  I’m not fighting for my mortality.  That is not up to me.  I’m fighting for my vitality, for my possibilities, for my meaning.  I’m fighting to make the quality of my life better.   I’m fighting for the right to look in the mirror and feel good about the person I see.  I’m fighting for the ability to not feel inferior around others.  Not managing my time has never been good for my self-esteem. 

Throughout my grade school and middle school years, I constantly wasted time.  This resulted in me not getting my homework done and this made my life hell on earth.  I almost failed the 1^st and 4^th grades.  When I was in 7^th grade my stress levels were huge.  I often couldn’t sleep.  I would lie in bed and then with a jolt realize that I had work due the next day that I had known about for a week.  I would pound the bed or shake or try to rock myself to sleep.  What I wouldn’t do though was the simplest thing that would have eliminated all my stress and self-loathing:  I wouldn’t get up and do my work.

This went on for day after day.  I don’t remember what activities I did that I thought were more fun than doing my work.  Whatever they were, they weren’t enjoyable enough to end my stress or self-esteem issues.  All of my procrastination made my life miserable at home and at school.  My only solace was comic books and one horrible day even those were taken from me. 

This was easily one of the worst years of my life and it was completely preventable.  Even at 12 years old, even with my extreme hyperactivity and immaturity, I knew that all I had to do was finish my work.  When I had finally figured that out, it was after being punished, denied privileges and losing one of the few things that gave me happiness at that time.

The worst part of it is that penalties of any kind are rarely an effective inducement to change behavior.  Even hating myself, which I did often, was not enough to help me grow.  More effective is seeing the benefits of doing the work.  But even that’s not always enough.  Yes, momentum can be built when I see the results of a job well done, but what is really required for change and personal growth is always and only one thing: the decision to do what is necessary.  And, as I’ve said, sometimes I have to make that decision with every single sentence and in every moment. 

I have to literally Get Started and Keep Going with each moment.  In this way, I honor God, the world, my family and friends, and myself with the gifts that have been entrusted to me.

Commitment

"The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor."

Vince Lombardi

“The dedicated life is the life worth living.”

Annie Dillard

“If you deny yourself commitment, what can you do with your life?”

Harvey Fierstein

"And if they stare

                                                      Just let them burn their eyes on you moving

And if they shout

Don't let them change a thing what you're doing

Hold your head up, hold your head upHold your head up, hold your head high..."

Ron Argent - Hold Your Head Up

Recently I wrote about a class I was taking that wasn’t meeting my expectations.  As I said, there was nothing wrong with the class or the teachers, it simply didn’t seem to be what I wanted or needed.  My conclusion of the matter was to finish the class anyway because I had made the commitment.  I’m glad I did.  Last night I had the opportunity to speak with both the teachers and it was an enlightening and, in some ways, even a freeing conversation.  The conversation put me in such a great mood for the rest of the evening and affirmed my decision to keep my commitment.

I think now that at least part of my dissatisfaction with the class came from the Enemy, especially the part where I thought about quitting.  There is nothing the Enemy likes more than to see me give up when things aren’t going my way.  I know there have been other times in my life when I did not follow through on commitments and regretted it deeply.  Fortunately, there have also been times when I did follow through on what I said I would do and I received a blessing by the way of peace and joy.  Curiously, however, there were times when I followed through on commitments and this caused me great pain.

So then what is the principle here?  Is it to always follow through on every commitment I make?  Yes.  But this is a principle, not a rule.  I once had a roommate who would beat me over the head with Psalm 15:4,

“The Lord honors one…. who keeps an oath even when it hurts,
 and does not change their mind;”

I also think of the words from Fields of Gold by Sting:

“I never made promises lightly

And there have been some that I've broken…”

Obviously the bible has more weight than pop song lyrics, but here is where I stand on this.

First, it’s important to understand what a commitment is and what it isn’t.  It’s the decision to follow through, no matter what, even if it does hurt.  But not everything is a commitment.  What Psalm 15:4 describes, however, is more than a commitment; it’s an oath.  It’s a vow, often made in public to stay with the commitment until its end.  In my life I know I have failed here.  I’m not excusing or justifying it.  I’m not telling others to do the same.  I’m simply saying that in some areas of my life, I did my very best, as limited as it was, and I could no longer follow through on my commitment.  My promise was not made lightly.  I take the blame and responsibility and I move on. 

There is a part of me that believes God is going to punish me for not sticking with things.  Fortunately, there is another part of me that believes in God’s grace and forgiveness.  I am not trying to use God’s grace as a cheap fix or a justification.  I’m simply saying I did the best I could and I am choosing to move on.

There are lesser degrees of commitment that are no less important.  If I promise to meet a friend for dinner, I should follow through even if “something better” comes up.  One time I did not do this because I thought the food at a church potluck would be a better alternative to whatever my friend had planned for a dinner commitment.  This resulted in missing a wonderful steak dinner with a good friend and eating bad food instead, also resulting in an upset stomach. 

There are also the unwritten daily commitments that I am learning to honor.  These include the following:

·      Doing my job to the best of my ability, every day.

·      Being present and patient with my children.

·      Obeying traffic laws as part of being a committed citizen.

·      Managing money more wisely.

I also need to honor the commitments I’ve made to myself, such as my blogs or my radio show.  I need to create and honor the commitments to my spiritual life, my financial life, my personal growth and my relationships.  I need to renew my commitments regularly.  I need to not give up.  I need to Get Started and Keep Going.

What Do You Do When You're Confused?

“The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”

Mitch Albom

“The feeling of being hurried is not usually the result of living a full life and having no time. It is on the contrary born of a vague fear that we are wasting our life. When we do not do the one thing we ought to do, we have no time for anything else."


Eric Hoffer
 

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”

C. S. Lewis

What do you do when you’re confused?  Angry?  Scared?  Lonely?  What do you do when you don’t know if you’re making the right decisions?  What do you do when you don’t know what to do? 

I write. 

That’s what I do.  

That is what almost always clears my head.   Writing is what reminds me that my thoughts are just thoughts, nothing else, unless I choose to make them more than that.  Writing reminds me that I have power over my thoughts.

  Tonight I have felt all the emotions described above and I knew I had to write.  Why?  Why do I choose to write?  There are a few reasons. 

First, it is, for me, the most cathartic form of release.  It’s my therapy, my healing agent, and my comfort.  It’s the thing I can do when I can’t do anything else.  And, in fact, when I’m writing, I don’t need to do anything else.  This is where I’m supposed to be and this is what I’m supposed to be doing.  This is where I release my anger, my sadness and my fear.  This is where I become the person I am supposed to be.   That person is absent far too often from my daily life, but he always shows up here.

The other person who shows up here is the woman I love…my muse.  She has read every one of these blogs.  This is no surprise since she also helped me write every one of them.  Without her I have very little motivation or energy.  Sometimes she makes me work for a while before she tells me what to say.  At other times she gets right to it.  Either way works as long as she is with me.

So I write.  And I keep writing.  I write until my head is clear.  I write until I have found my message.  And then I keep writing.  Sometimes I write because I know I have a tangible goal and I want to reach it.  I need to reach it.  There have been too many times in my life when I fell short of my goals, far short…but not this time.    This time I’m going to finish what I started.  By the end of this month, God willing, I will have written 200 blogs.

What frees you?  Is it also writing?  Is it dancing?  Working with children?  Bringing physical or emotional healing?  Can you make music?  Is there a group of people who need your love because they have been forgotten by the world?  Can you focus on your job more?  Do you cook?  Is there a book you need to write?

You are here for a purpose.  Whatever your spiritual beliefs, believe this:  God put you on this earth for a reason, for many reasons.   All of those reasons involve loving yourself and loving others.  They all involve making the world a better place in a way that you and only you can do.  Without you, your mission cannot be accomplished. 

In this way, I have been able to dispel confusion and sadness from my life.  They may return and if they do, then I must be even more focused on my mission.

That’s it.  That’s my message for now.  Shorter than usual, but quantity is not always quality. 

My other message is to Get Started and Keep Going.

I Keep Writing

“Permanence, perseverance and persistence in spite of all obstacles, discouragement, and impossibilities: It is this, that in all things distinguishes the strong soul from the weak”

Thomas Carlyle

“Persistence is the twin sister of excellence. One is a matter of quality; the other, a matter of time.”

Unknown

I hate it when I feel like I can’t write or when I feel like what I’m writing is garbage.  Still, I keep writing.

Sometimes I feel full of doubt.  Or I’m tired and angry.  Still, I keep writing.

I never feel like I have enough time to write.  And sometimes my house on the beach seems so far away.  In fact, this week it feels like it got a little further away.   Still, I keep writing.

This is the Enemy at its finest, telling me I’m done, that I have nothing left to say.  Still, I keep writing.

I keep writing.

I keep writing.

I keep writing.

I also keep working.  By working I mean the following:

·      I keep studying.

·      I keep the commitments I’ve made.

·      I keep free of unnecessary entanglements of my time, energy, money or emotions.

·      I keep my vision in front of me.

But most of all I keep writing and reading seem to be the things that free me the most.  They give me perspective and freedom.  When I am writing or when I am studying, I feel great love for and commitment to the people I love and am called to serve.  I feel peaceful and clear and clean.  I feel strong and sure of myself, but not in an arrogant or cocky way.  Actually, I’m not thinking much about myself at all and in this way I am most able to be myself.  Carl Rogers said, “What is most personal is most general.” 

That’s another reason I like writing.  Although I rarely share specifics, I think the personal things I share can be generalized into many other people’s personal experiences.  I’m not the only one who struggles with loneliness, procrastination or fear.  I’m not the only on who has deferred his dreams for years because of the fear of other people’s opinions.

I have friends who I believe really need to make some changes in their lives.  This is what they have told me.  But they don’t.  And I don’t know whether I want to kick them in the pants or give them a hug or do both.  I understand the fear and I think I would do almost anything to make them change their lives.  But it’s not in my hands. To those who want to make changes but find the prospect too overwhelming, I offer this:

·      Do something, anything, big or small, to move towards your new life.

·      Do something every day, every single day. 

·      Stop talking about the changes you want to make.  Really.  Stop talking; just do. If you don’t want to do something, then stop talking about it, until you do.

·      If you must talk, be sure it is only for the express purpose of clarifying tangible steps you’re already committed to taking. 

·      Do not talk to people in hopes of getting advice.  The advice is generally useless because most advices seekers want attention, not direction.  They have no intention of following it.  Most of us don’t need advice.  We need to act.

·       Do not talk to people in hopes of being rescued from your troubles.   No one can rescue you but you.  If you are offered a helping hand, it is still you who has to reach out to it.

·      The difficulties you may experience in moving forward are literally nothing compared to the difficulties of living in fear.

Those are the things that have worked for me.  My first step was this blog.  Now, 188 blogs later, I have made some long-awaited changes.  I have also made mistakes, but I’ve made more advances.  I learned to Get Started and Keep Going…and I don’t regret a minute of it.

How Much Time Do I Have Left? II

“Until you value yourself, you will not value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.”

M. Scott Peck

“Your greatest resource is your time.”

Brian Tracy

“You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.”

Henry David Thoreau

I don’t know what happened, but I really hurt myself last night.  I was playing softball with my two youngest daughters after going to my oldest daughter’s Open House.  I was having a great time playing pickle with the girls when suddenly I got a very sharp pain in my left side, in my rib cage, I think.  Taking pain reliever didn’t seem to help.  Nor did it help to laugh because that increased the pain.  I felt like I got hit with a hammer.  The next day I was fine, but it was a little unexpected.

Of course, being the melodramatic person I am, I started wondering if I was having a precursor to a heart attack or something.  Then I started wondering if I were going to die soon.  (It sounds silly, but it’s not completely unreasonable.  People younger than me have died suddenly.)   Then I wondered if I was ready.

I’m ready.

I’m not ready.

I’m ready because long ago I entrusted my life to God and so far He’s never let me down.  I haven’t lived a perfect life.  I can’t even say that I’ve always done my best, because I certainly haven’t, but I believe God loves me anyway.  He loves me not because of who I am or what I do, but because of who He is and what He’s done, specifically on the cross.

I’m also not ready, because there is so much I want to do.  There is so much I want to do, so many books I want to read and so much more I want to write and teach.  I need more time.  I’ve already lost or, more accurately, wasted so much.  I need more time to do the things I want and need to do.  Unfortunately, I’m guaranteed nothing.  I may live another 50 years or another hour.  If I live another fifty, then I want to make sure I get that house on the beach.  If I only have an hour, then I want to finish this blog.  That’s really it. I want to reach my long- and short-term goals and I want to keep moving towards them every minute of every day.  How else can one live a full life?

Since I began writing these blogs, I feel like I’m more preoccupied with living than dying.   Possibilities have opened up and things I was afraid of no longer seem so imposing.  The perfect life may not be possible, but a wonderful life is, no matter how much time I have.  

“Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin,” said actress Grace Hansen. 

That’s exactly what I was afraid of for many years.  Now my life has begun again.  The funny thing is that it’s still full of challenges, just as it was before, but it feels different.  Since I began writing I feel like I’m out of a cage.  I built this cage.  I had the key.  I was miserable in it, but apparently, for years, I wasn’t miserable enough.  Then I started writing.   And soon (not suddenly) things started changing.  I used the key and opened the cage.  And I walked out.

Now it’s not enough to just walk out of a cage.  I then had to take a direction.  There are far too many people who get out of literal and figurative prisons and taste the sweet air of freedom, only to return to the cage because of fear, inaction and a lack of a plan.  I was one of these people. 

As Steven Pressfield says in The War of Art:

It may be that the human race is not ready for freedom. The air of liberty may be too rarefied for us to breathe. The paradox seems to be, as Socrates demonstrated long ago, that the truly free individual is free only to the extent of his own self-mastery. While those who will not govern themselves are condemned to find masters to govern over them.

I was once in a job that made me miserable.  One day I decided I was going to quit and do something else.  I remember how happy and free I felt.  I started reading and exercising again.  I felt great.  Unfortunately, fear, inaction and the lack of a plan  (yes, I repeated myself) guaranteed my staying in that job a few more years.  I had the key to free myself, but I walked back into my cage and put the key in my pocket for a few more years. 

I think most of us do this.  We keep ourselves locked in a prison of our own making. We get out for a while and then we go back in.  In the literal prisons this is called recidivism, the act of returning to prison by committing another crime or the same crime again.  The rate in California is around or over 65%.  According to one article, prisons that have programs to deal with trauma and adjustment have a lower rate. (http://californiainnocenceproject.org/issues-we-face/recidivism)

I think it may be higher for those who are not in a literal prison.  There are no programs to keep us from staying in or returning to bad jobs, bad relationships, bad behavior or a lack of self-discipline. 

Well, actually there is a program, but we each have to create it for ourselves.  But here it is:

1.   I have to know what I want.  It may be enough to know what I don’t want, but only for a while.

2.   I have to take as many steps as possible, as often as possible and as much as possible to move towards freedom.  For me, this means writing blogs.  It means something else for you.  It may mean teaching preschool or starting your business or finishing your thesis.  But it means I have to do something, anything, to free myself and to stay free.  I have to work as if my life depended on it.  Because it does.  When I say “my life” I don’t mean my mortality, though that might be at stake, too.  I mean my vitality.  When I refuse to move forward, I am at risk for becoming increasingly dead inside. 

3.   I have to Get Started and Keep Going.

I need to use my time well in order to reach my potential, my goals and my dreams.   I have to Get Started and Keep Going, because whatever time I have left, it’s just not enough, but if I use it well, it may be all the time I need.