“Never miss a good chance to shut up.”
“If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainties.”
Francis Bacon, The Advancement Of Learning
When one is feeling distraught, bothered, scared, sad, or confused, it helps to know that there are healthy ways of dealing with the pain. Most people don’t deal with their pain in a healthy manner, so here are some things that have helped. (And maybe this is even similar to a blog I have written before…it feels familiar, but writing is one of the things I’m about to recommend.) None of these come in any particular point of order. The point is to decrease or lessen the emotional pain, much of which is based on illusion anyway. When the pain is gone, clarity comes. So does gratitude and so does the awareness of how much good life has to offer. This is not to say that there is not legitimate pain or heartbreak, but it is far less than we think.
1. Do something. Anything. Preferably something physical. When the mind takes over so much that it becomes a tyrant, then it might be time to let the body take over for a while.
2. Talk to someone. Sometimes this helps. Sometimes it doesn’t. The objective is not to complain but to look for a solution. Complaining might take place, but it’s not the objective. The objective is to end the pain.
3. Do something nice for yourself. See a movie. Read a book. Go for a walk. Take a nap. Go for a drive. Indulge in your hobby.
4. Do something that aligns with your Purpose. This is why I’m writing now.
5. Give things time. More often than not things work out if we just let everything go. Some times the best thing to do is nothing at all.
In addition, here are some things not to do.
1. Don’t attach an outcome to what is happening at the moment. Maybe everything is fine and no one is avoiding you. Maybe people are just busy or having problems of their own. Or maybe everything is not fine, but it doesn’t mean things can’t be resolved. Maybe you aren’t losing your job. Maybe everything will be fine. A great method of letting go of outcome attachments is in the book, Loving What Is by Byron Katie.
2. Don’t complain. See above.
3. Don’t think about it. By this, I mean, just let it go for the moment. Unless there’s something you can do about it, let it go until the right time
Maybe all these solutions seem cliché, but clichés are often based in truth. Here’s what I know for sure. I don’t want to be in any kind of pain and often, if not always, I can choose not to be. I can Get Started and Keep Going. I can keep working towards that house on the beach. And I can take my own advice.