Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Moving Forward

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”

Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

I feel that I haven’t moved forward as a writer.  I feel sad that I haven’t written a blog in a long time.  I also feel worried about things that are undone.  I haven’t run in two days and I have homework to do.  And yet, and yet….
Two words come into my head: Resist nothing. 
These words that come from The Power of Now don’t mean to make no changes, but simply to first accept what is and then make changes if necessary, or allow things to run their course. Sometimes sadness and worry are ways to beat ourselves up, to tell ourselves we aren’t good enough, that we don’t measure up to whatever impossible-to-reach standard we have put in our heads to keep us from being truly peaceful and truly successful.   I accept, then, the following:
·      I haven’t written many blogs or journal pages lately.
·      I could use my time more effectively.
·      I need to eat more fruits and vegetables.
·      I have homework to do.

But if I accept those things then I also have to accept these”
·      I’m a good teacher.
·      I can run or do homework when I’m done here.
·      I’ve done a lot with my life and I’ve blessed a lot of people.
·      I’m valuable even if the previous three statements weren’t true.

Just writing these gets me, to use Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s phrase, “centered” again.  I feel peaceful because my Muse is with me.  I feel blessed.  And yes, part of the reason for that is because I’m sitting here writing for my Muse, because I’m accomplishing something.  After all this time, I still cannot believe how strong the Enemy is, how strong I allow it to be.  Yesterday, for example, I had to write a brief paper.  I couldn’t do it.  I spent all day being stressed and scared.  I was sure that I had nothing to say and that I would get a bad grade.  I was paralyzed.  But finally I had no choice.  Write the paper or get an “F.”  So I wrote the paper.  And I liked it.  Hopefully, my professor liked it, too.  But it doesn’t matter as much as it did before I started writing.  I did my best. 

In a little while, I will do my best as I run or study or maybe even make a bowl of popcorn and watch a video and go to bed early.  I’m not going to worry about that now.  I’m just happy that I did this.  I’m happy that I was able to Get Started and Keep Going.  I miss writing blogs, but rather than resist what is (or was), I will simply be grateful for this blog.  I will simply be grateful for all the good things in my life...especially my Muse who keeps me moving forward.