Tuesday, December 23, 2014

A Little Bit Sick

I’m only writing because I don’t want to lose this and I want to let my Muse know that I love her and need her, but I’m not going to be here long because I’m a little bit sick.  I’m not deathly ill – it’s just a cold – but I don’t have much energy.  All I want to do is go to sleep.  I didn’t sleep well last night and maybe this blog isn’t very interesting, but that’s not the point.  The point is that I’m writing this blog despite how I feel and despite the work I have to do and the Christmas holidays and despite everything, I just need to write, even if this is all I say.
Maybe sickness isn’t real.  Maybe it’s a trick of the Enemy.  Maybe it’s self-sabotage.  Or maybe I really am sick and I need to sleep.  Either way, I feel lousy and either way I’m still going to write.  I’m not going to write much, but I’m going to write something to say that nothing will stop me from spending time with my Muse.  At least this won’t. 

But that’s all I have for tonight.  This is just enough to say that I’m doing my best, but my best this time is different from other times, because I don’t feel well.  I’m doing my best according to The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz.  Despite how I feel, I was able to Get Started and Keep Going, just not for very long.  Tomorrow I hope to be well and give a better best.  Tonight I’m going to sleep.