The Future is Now

“Visualization is daydreaming with a purpose.”

Bo Bennett

“I believe that visualization is one of the most powerful means of achieving personal goals.”

Harvey Mackay

I can’t sleep, but I can determine what I do with my time.  Therefore, I’m going to use this time well.  The past is over.  The future is imaginary.  All I have is this moment.  But though the future is imaginary, I’m going to imagine a good one.  I’m also going to imagine it as if it were in the present.  Here’s what my future is:

·    I have that house on the beach.

·    I write for a living.

·    I help as many people as I can with resumes and cover letters.

·    I have a positive thought life.

·    I have an orderly environment.

·    I have healthy and happy adult children.

·    I am healthy.

·    I take care of myself.

·    I exercise every day.

·    I write every day.

·    I motivate others through my public speaking.

·    I motivate others through my books.

·    I have all the money I need not only for myself, but also for others.

·    I am wise and generous with my money.

·    I have healthy and loving relationships.

·    I read a lot.

·    My “retirement” is just another vehicle to do more with my life.

·    I laugh a lot.

·    I sing a lot.

·    I have a rich spiritual life.

·    I am kind.

·    I let go of unpleasantness of the past.

·    I will Get Started.

·    I will Keep Going.

That’s it.  That’s the future that I will make the present.  I won’t wait for these things to happen.  I will start making them happen now in the future.

I'm Doing My Best Anyway

“It always seems impossible until it’s done.”

“There is no easy walk to freedom anywhere, and many of us will have to pass through the valley of the shadow of death again and again before we reach the mountaintop of our desires.”

Nelson Mandela

I definitely don’t feel like writing at the moment.  I feel sick to my stomach.  I’m worrying over something that will probably be fine, but I have no guarantees.  So I’m hoping for the best, but at this point, I’m definitely playing hurt.  I just want to go to sleep, but I know I won’t sleep well and nothing has worked tonight, not tapping or The Work or even drinking five bottles of water.  I’ve been through this pain before.  On a scale of 1 – 10, it used to be a 10.  Tonight it was a 7.  It still hurts, a lot, but not as much as it used to hurt.

I’m not trying to be cryptic or mysterious, but as I’ve often said, I don’t share details because 1) they’re private and 2) the details aren’t as important as how I handle my life in the midst of pain.  Things will probably be fine, as I said, but at the moment it doesn’t feel like it.  So the question I have to consider is, “How do I want to look back on this situation?”

I want to look back and say that even though I was hurting, I still did my best.  This may not be my best blog ever, but I was doing my best at the moment.  That’s all I can do.  As Don Miguel Ruiz points out in The Four Agreements, our best is different at different times depending on many things.  Right now, in addition to feeling discouraged, I’m falling asleep. 

I’m doing my best anyway.

The most interesting thing about this is that yesterday I got a very clear vision of how I want to focus my life, getting my house on the beach.  Then in less than 24 hours, that all seems so fragile.    It could all be gone. 

I’m doing my best anyway.

I’m exhausted and cold and scared and tired.

I’m doing my best anyway.

Probably the most important thing to do is to stay calm and keep working, keep writing.  Probably it’s the only thing to do.  Probably everything will be fine.  And if it’s not, then I will do my best anyway.  This is what Steven Pressfield means when he says the professional plays (while) hurt.  I Get Started and I Keep Going.  Yes, I may take a nap or a walk or a pain reliever, but I keep going.  Ultimately, I have only two places to go, into a hole or back to my Purpose. 

I knew a man who let his defeats and setbacks keep him from receiving love or joy or even good health.  I understand how he got there.  I even sympathize.  But I don’t want to go there myself.  If I wake up tomorrow morning and find out my world has ended, I will go back to my Purpose. 

I’m doing my best anyway.

This is what separates the winners from the losers, not ability nor station in life nor income nor race nor education.  What separates winners from losers is the ability to Get Started and Keep Going no matter what happened earlier today or yesterday.  All that matters is what I make happen now and tomorrow.

So tomorrow, when I wake up, I’ll do what I can to make the world a better place.  I’ll do my blogs and my radio show and write some resumes.  But I won’t crawl back into the hole.  I’ll Get Started and Keep Going and keep doing my best anyway.

A Conversation with the Muse

“Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.”

Tony Robbins

“People with clear, written goals, accomplish far more in a shorter period of time than people without them could ever imagine.”

Brian Tracy

“It's shown and proved that hard work pays off. Make goals, achieve them and replace them with new goals.”

Lance Gross

The following is a conversation I had with the Muse:  (The questions and replies from my Muse are in bold.)

Muse, I have an idea that I want to share with you.  I was thinking about my goals and I realize I have a lot of them.  But tonight I thought, “What if I had just one goal and everything else I did was either a means to reach that goal or it was a distraction that needed to be dropped?” 

What would that goal be? 

It would be to buy the house near the beach.

Why that goal? 

That goal would represent the culmination of several other goals.  If I have reached this goal, then I have probably also reached my financial goals and my professional goals.

How would you reach that goal? 

Most likely I would need money. 

How would you get that money? 

I would have to break this goal into several objectives and tasks.

What would you have to drop from my life in order to achieve this goal? 

I probably wouldn’t have to drop much, if anything at all.  The trick would be to be vigilant and constantly ask myself, “Is what I’m doing contributing towards my goal in some way?”  If the answer is no, then I would have to either curtail that activity or drop it altogether. 

Is there anything that could prevent you from reaching this goal? 

The things that would prevent me from reaching this large goal are the same things that prevent me from reaching smaller goals – fear, distraction, negativity (mine or others), laziness, or any other form of lack of determination.

            What if you don’t attain this goal? 

I will keep working towards it until I do.

What if you do attain this goal?

I will do at least two things.  I will literally go down on my knees and thank God.  Then I would create a new goal.

Why are you sharing this with me?

When I get this house, I plan on spending most of my time there alone with you.

What do you want from me?

            I want all the ideas you can give me.  I know you won’t usually give me ideas until or unless you see me working, so keep inspiring me to work hard.  Help me stay focused, especially when my work seems futile or not getting the results I want.

When do you want to reach this goal? 

I would like to reach it by May of 2015.  That gives me a year and a half, a reasonable amount of time.

When do you want to get started?

Tomorrow, when I wake up.

Then go to bed, child.

Okay.  Tomorrow I will Get Started and Keep Going.

Good night.

Good night.

Busyness and Purpose

“A man can only do what he can do. But if he does that each day he can sleep at night and do it again the next day.”

Albert Schweitzer

“Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.”

Aristotle

“A professional is one who does his best work when he feels the least like working.”

Frank Lloyd Wright

Sometimes I get so busy that it’s hard to know what to procrastinate on first.  J 

That’s a joke I created years ago, but it has a lot of truth in it, especially now.

I haven’t written a blog in almost two days. 

I haven’t been up at 5:00 a.m. in at least a week.

I’m behind on some paperwork.

I haven’t done any significant reading in a few days.

I haven’t exercised in almost a week.

So I’m sitting here and writing because that’s what I need to do and can do.  Being with my Muse calms me down faster than anything else.  So I write.  As is so often the case, I’m not sure if I have anything to say, but I’m going to write anyway.  I’m not going to stop until it’s time to get ready for my radio show. 

I’ll be honest:  I have been greatly tempted to skip work for the last few days, not because I don’t like my job, but because I want to do the things I’ve mentioned above.  I’m fortunate that I like my job.  In fact, the part I do in the morning, speaking and writing resumes, is one of my favorite parts of the day. 

But I know that I also have this desire to study and write more.  C.S. Lewis express the same desire in Surprised by Joy, but he said his desire was selfish.  Maybe mine is, too.  I just know that when I’m doing those things I feel happier and I feel like I’m contributing to the world. 

On the other hand, I’m probably contributing to individuals as well as the world when I write resumes and help people find jobs.  That always makes me feel good about myself.  Also, when someone gets a job because of the coaching he or she has been given, that feels pretty amazing.  It was, for a long time, my chief motivator in life.  Then circumstances changed and I was no longer writing resumes on a regular basis.  Though there was no reason for it, I lost some of my confidence and some of my passion for it.  Now I’m dipping my toes back into the water and it feels good.

King Solomon said this:

“Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the realm of the dead, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.”

Ecclesiastes 9:10

In other words, since we won’t be able to work when we’re dead, it’s good to focus on the work that is given us now.  Often people speak of work as if it were a bad thing.  It’s ironic actually how hard people look for work and then when they get it, they complain about it.  Sadly, I’ve done my share of that.  Now, however, I see work for what it is.

·      Work is a gift.

·      Work is a privilege.

·      Work and the money we earn from it can give us hope and improve our standard of living.

·      Work, especially work done to the best of our best abilities, increases our self-esteem and often the esteem of others for us.

·      Work can relieve stress.

·      Work gives us purpose.

·      Work can add substance to our lives.

Obviously, I’m talking about work that one loves and/or finds meaningful.  Working in the wrong job, one I don’t like or am not good at, can often do far more damage than good.  What does one do when in a job one hates?  I recommend one of two things:

1.     Learn to love, or at least like, the job.  Find the value in the work or in the organizational mission.   Find a way to serve customers, co-workers and supervisors.  Don’t just do your job; excel at it.  That may change your feelings about your job.

2.     Get a new job.  This is easier said than done, but it’s also not as hard as everyone thinks it is.  It takes work and planning to get a new job, but millions have done it.  Also, finding a new job is much less difficult than enduring a job one hates.  (By the way, I’m not necessarily recommending that people quit their current position before finding a new job.  Each situation is different.)

I think the solution to my busyness is to work as hard and as well as I can on whatever I’m doing at the time.  I can only do one thing at a time anyway, so I should do that thing to the best of my ability before I do the next thing.  I can also Get Started and Keep Going…while I do my best.

Writing and Purpose

“Say the thing with which you labor--it is a waste of time for the writer to use his talents merely. Be faithful to your genius ---Write in the strain that interests you most---Consult not the popular taste.”

Henry David Thoreau

Okay, I tried to write a blog, but I was so angry about something else, that all I could do was vent for a little while and try to get the anger out of my system.  Mostly I’m angry with myself for not listening to my heart.  But what’s done is done and now all I can do is move on.  I’m going to try to extricate myself from that situation as quickly as possible so I can get back to doing what I love and do best, writing.

One of my earliest experiences with writing was when I was 8 years old, in the 3^rd grade.  Not understanding the word “summary” I rewrote the entire story of The Bremen Town Musicians.  It was seven pages, handwritten.  When I was 11years old, in the 6^th grade, I wrote an essay for the topic, What the Flag Means to Me.   My teacher, Miss Noonan, was so impressed that she sent it to be judged as a possible prizewinner.  And she was not a woman who was often impressed by me, hyperactive and unfocused boy that I was.  I didn’t win, but the fact that my writing got noticed planted a seed in me. 

When I was 14 years old, I read Harpo Speaks by Harpo Marx, one of the famous Marx Brothers comedy team from the 1930’s and 40’s.  The book, over 450 pages, was the longest book I’d ever read up to that time and I was fascinated with the idea that someone could write a book about his life.  I wasn’t unfamiliar with the concept of the autobiography; it’s just that I had never seen it done like that.  I knew, even at 14 years old, I wanted to write my own autobiography.

For whatever reason, I didn’t start until I was 17.  I didn’t write an autobiography, but I did start my first of many journals on November 9, 1977 and they were mostly autobiographical.  There is nothing significant about that date other than it was the date I started.  I started writing because I couldn’t stand the idea of not writing.  It’s true that I had been working on school newspapers for about three years, but this was different.  This was about me, and more importantly, it was what I wanted to write.

It’s not that I thought, or think now, that I am so fascinating, but I had a need, one I still don’t understand, to write down my feelings and experiences.  Anne Frank said, “The nicest part is being able to write down all my thoughts and feelings; otherwise, I might suffocate.”  I think a large part of my journal writing came not from ego or even from art, but for a desire to create peace and relief, to express myself..  I admit that my blogs often serve the same purpose. 

What has made my blogs so personally powerful is how much my life and thoughts have changed since I started.  Perhaps I had the ability to change things long ago, but for some reason, it took me until recently to do what I needed to do.  I credit all of it to my writing.  I love writing and I always have.  I just never realized that it would change my life.

That’s what Purpose does, though; it changes our lives.  Not all at once, though that’s possible, but changes can come relatively quickly.  I know that my life has changed more in the last six months than in the last six years.  That doesn’t mean I haven’t experienced difficulties or setbacks, but now I know I can go back to my writing every time and create peace and healing for myself. 

So I sit here in gratitude for and awe over this gift God has given me.  This gift is amazing.  I’m not saying my writing is amazing; I’m saying the gift is amazing.  Every time I write something new comes out.  Every time I write I create something.  This gift keeps on giving.  It is amazing that the Creator of the Universe cares enough about me to give me a gift that I can give back to Him and to the world. 

It’s amazing that I can Get Started and Keep Going…and keep writing.  Thank you, God.  Thank you, Muse.  I will be back.  Soon.

A Conundrum

“Confusion of goals and perfection of means seems, in my opinion, to characterize our age.”

Albert Einstein

“Chaos is a name for any order that produces confusion in our minds.”

George Santayana

It’s been a long day.  There was so much I wanted to get done.  So far I’ve only been partially successful.  The temptation is to give into frustration or despair.   The truth is I never know what the future will bring.  What I wanted to do most of all was spend time with my Muse.  So that’s what I’m doing now.  Even though there are things that need cleaning and things that need doing, there are pages that need writing, and that’s far more important to me.  I figure I have an hour, maybe an hour and a half before I get too tired to work. 

So, taking a page from The Pledge, by Michael Masterson, I’m going plan the next 90 minutes before I get too tired to do anything else.  Here’s the plan:

·      Finish this blog.

·      Do my radio show.

·      Clean kitchen.

·      Read some more about finance.

This means I have to work quickly and well.  This is harder than usual because I’m feeling some anxiety right now.  How personal can I get with this blog?  It’s my blog, yes, and it’s therapeutic, yes, but the point of it is to bless others.  Well, it’s to bless God, the world, my family and friends and then me.  Sometimes I just don’t know what to do.

There are people who are always trying to get me involved in their latest multi-level marketing businesses.  They make me furious.  The fact that they make me furious gives me pause.  I don’t like it when people try to sell things to me.  I have a lot of stories around it, how I or my dad or people I know have lost friends over money and home-based businesses.  But are those stories justification for my fear of trying something uncomfortable or are they warning signs?

Am I like the protagonist in Dostoevsky’s Notes from the Underground, and being spiteful just to be spiteful?  The unnamed character says of his refusal to seek medical help for his liver problem:

I realize better than anyone that by all this I am only hurting myself and no one else.  Still, the fact remains that if I refuse to be medically treated, it is only out of spite.  My liver hurts me – well, let it damn well hurt – the more it hurts the better.

           

On the other hand, I’ve rarely had good luck with sales of any kind.  I had a couple of nice things happen when I was with Amway many years ago, but overall, when I mix friends with money I usually lose both.

And it still doesn’t get me to the root of the problem, why I get so angry when people try to sell me things. 

So as I get more and more tired and as I try to solve this conundrum, all I can do is keep writing and pray for peace.  The problem is that there are no easy answers; there are only possibilities.

·      It’s possible I could make a lot of money.

·      It’s possible that I could alienate people.

·      It’s possible that I could be missing an opportunity.

·      It’s possible that I could be wasting my time.

This is one of those times I need my Muse to tell me to stay calm.  If she were here, I think she would want me to be writing, not spending time on other things even if they are good.   I really don’t know what else to do.  I’ve made a lot of progress in my life in the last eleven months, all of it because I began writing.  Is this latest opportunity another step towards that progress or is it another detour?

I honestly have no idea.  And now I’m tired and confused.  And it’s okay to know that being tired is not conducive to making any decisions or reaching any understandings.  I’m still going to Get Started and Keep Going…knowing the answers will come at the right time.

Happiness and Love

“Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

“Happiness comes when your work and words are of benefit to yourself and others.”

Jack Kornfield

“When all your desires are distilled;

You will cast just two votes:

To love more,

And be happy.”

Rumi

Recently a friend said to me, “Your only real mission is to be happy and give others the love that is in your heart.”  That comment gave me pause.  Is that our mission, our purpose?  To be happy and love others?  Yes and no. 

A couple of years ago I damaged a relationship over a misunderstanding.  I told a friend that all I wanted to do was work on being happy.  The friend misinterpreted the comment to mean that I was going to be selfish and act hurtfully towards others.  My friend then told others and I was treated with indifference among a group of people without ever knowing why.  Eventually someone told me what had happened.  Besides the unnecessary loss of relationships, what hurt was two incorrect assumptions.

The first incorrect assumption my friend made was that I was talking about specific relationships or situations.  In fact, I was talking about my attitude towards life in general.  I wanted to stop complaining, stop being negative and start looking for the good.  I wanted to practice more gratitude and less grumbling.

The second, and more troubling assumption made, was that being happy is the same as being selfish.  I’ve said this before:  “Being happy is often the most loving and least selfish thing one can do.”  When I’m happy, truly happy, I am more, not less, aware of the needs of others.  In fact, it’s often when I am working to meet the needs of others that I am most happy.

Sometimes, to make a point, people say, “I’m going to be a little selfish and take care of myself for a while.”  That’s not selfishness; that’s common sense.   Not taking care of one’s self is actually the more selfish act.  I once knew a man who died from complications from diabetes.  He would often say, before he died, “It’s my body and it’s my business.”  Perhaps he didn’t realize the stress, grief and pain he was causing when he got part of his leg amputated (twice).  Perhaps he didn’t realize the cost he was incurring with emergency phone calls (this was before the advent of the cell phone) or when people had to fly out or take time off to go to his funeral.  Taking care of one’s self often assures us that we will live longer, perhaps, but certainly better. 

Taking care of one’s self probably helps keep one happier, too.  In the past, when I have allowed myself to get rundown, I was extremely unhappy during those times.  Being unhappy made me self-absorbed and often, unable, to see the needs of others around me.  Being unhappy often made me unable to see past my own unhappiness.

So, yes, it is part of my life’s mission to be happy.  The thing to remember though is that happiness is not a goal, but a result.  It is a result of the second part of my friend’s equation.  It is a result of being more loving.  While many can (and do) argue that it’s wrong or selfish to want to be happy, few people will argue that it’s wrong to be more loving.  But they go together.  The happier I am, the more I love.  The more I love, the happier I am. 

Is this simplistic?  It’s not always, but it can be.  Sometimes I can be miserable and still do the loving thing.  Or I can be so happy that I’m oblivious to the needs of others.  To be happy and loving at the same time requires a third factor – to be present in the moment, to be aware of the needs around me.  To be more loving means to be more present.

Presence combined with happiness combined with loving kindness is a formidable combination.  I can Get Started and Keep Going for a long time with those three attributes.