Another (Relatively) Quick Write

I have yet to be successful in just sitting down and writing a blog with absolutely no interruptions.  Struggling with ADHD, even a mild form of it, makes this process even more frustrating.  Byron Katie says in Loving What Is, that sadness is like a little tantrum of resistance against reality.  Frustration, then, must be a huge tantrum.  Perhaps I should just accept that things take me longer than I would like.  Or perhaps I can change.  Or perhaps I have to accept what is first, before I can change. 

Whatever it is, I know I’d like to finish this blog quickly.  Much of my time is lost in irrelevant distractions.  I’m not sure if I can or even want to overhaul my personality, but I’d like to finish this blog quickly. 

Why?

Brian Tracy says in Eat That Frog that ongoing focus and completion are the keys to success.  If that is true, then I have work to do in this area.  I can rarely stay focused. 

On the other hand, I have written over 600 blogs, done over 300 radio shows, and hand written over 400 pages in my journal.  I’ve done all this in the last 18 months (and the journal pages in the last seven months), so I’m getting things done.  What then is my problem?

Perhaps it’s the inner critic saying, “You can do better.”  And I suppose it’s true; I could do better.  But what if I decided not to do better?  What if I decided to simply accept my foibles and just see what happens?  Or what if I decided to do things differently, not out of self-condemnation, but simply as a new way of doing things?

The choices are mine.  I’ve done a lot of work.  I can do more.  But if I want to enjoy this process, I need to stop beating myself up.  I’ve done a lot work.  I can do more.  Both are true.  The concepts can be complementary rather than contradictory.  I can choose to do more.  Or I can choose to not do more.

I know this:  if I choose to do more, it cannot be to satisfy the Inner Critic, because it is never satisfied.  Never.  If I wrote five logs a day, it would say, “Then why can’t you write seven?”

If I choose to write more or if I choose to stay focused, then it must be for me.  It must be for the purpose of improving my writing.  But it cannot be to make someone or something else happy.  The truth is, I’ve done impressive work, by any standards.  So my questions would be, “What do I want to do next?  How can I do this better (for me)?” 

One thing I’ve noticed is that improvement has come naturally simply through the sheer volume of my work.  So if I want to improve, I just need to keep working.  I’ve taught myself and I’ve sought other teachers and mentors (mostly through books).   The work itself has been an education. 

By the way, here are some things I’ve learned since I began this process:

·      There is not one choice I have ever made that is more important than the choice I make now.

·      Forget “balance.”  Focus on vigilance.

·      Determination is the emotion without emotion.  All it requires is a decision.

·      Find what you love and do it every day and your life will change.

·      Get Started.

·      Keep Going.

·      To keep going means to get started every moment.

·      The Purpose of Purpose is love.