My Choice

“I'll tell you this, 
in any fight
, it is the guy who is willing to die
 who is going to win that inch.
  And I know 
if I am going to have any life anymore
, it is because, I am still willing to fight, and die for that inch 
because that is what LIVING is – the six inches in front of your face.”

Al Pacino – Any Given Sunday

"Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice."

Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Yesterday I realized that there are 73 days left in the year.  I also realized that the 71^st day will be December 29 and that if I write about two blogs a day, I will have reached 365 blogs for the last year.  That’s a blog a day.  I have 71 days to reach my goal and I even have a little leeway for those days I choose not to write. 

Yes, I said, “choose to.”  I realize by using those words instead of saying something like, “In case I can’t,” or “If I get too busy,” that I’m throwing down the gauntlet and inviting all the forces of the Enemy to keep me from my goal.  

That’s the part I hate.  Whenever I create a goal, I can anticipate trouble.  I can expect the unexpected.  I can expect difficulties and obstacles from within and without.  Most of all, I need to acknowledge the possibility of self-sabotage and the Enemy throwing everything it can at me.   But I don’t care.  I made my last goal of publishing my first e-book.  I reached the goal before that of writing 150 blogs by my birthday.  So I can reach this goal, too.  But I can’t expect it to be easy.  Maybe it will be.  But I can’t expect it to be.

Still, I believe that life is 99.9999% choice.  For better or worse, I can only choose two things – my actions or my attitudes.  So the actions I choose, with regard to my writing is to reach my goal, no matter what.  And really, all it takes is a decision, actually many decisions, one at each moment, to sit down and do my writing.  That’s all it takes, but it will take my all.

I wish that all I had to do was prove myself once and then God would say, “Okay, I know you will be faithful, so I’m going to give you the desires of your heart.”  But it doesn’t seem to work like that.  I have to prove myself every time.  Over and over.  I need to show up every day.  On the days I choose to not write, then that is the choice I’ve made.  And sometimes that’s okay.  I have other Purposes, too.  But a day I choose to not write must be a conscious choice, not a whim of circumstance.  It cannot be because I’m “too busy” or “I didn’t get time.”   It doesn’t work like that.  A surgeon cannot have an “off” day.  Neither can an air traffic controller.  I need to stay focused despite what life brings.  I admit, that some days are harder than others.

Yesterday, for example,  it seemed that all I did was drive back and forth getting my kids to different places.  I also had to get my car worked on and I had a party to go to.  My oldest daughter had Homecoming pictures, my youngest daughter had a party to go to, and my youngest and oldest had softball games.  In addition, the youngest left her equipment in her mother’s car.  On top of it all, I got hit with a $200 car-repair bill and another $700 needed for further repairs.  I was pretty discouraged by that.

But here’s the thing.  As I said, I can choose my actions and attitudes.  It isn’t always an easy decision to change my attitude, but it’s always possible.  Previously, I’ve mentioned different ways to do this:

·      Prayer

·      Reading something uplifting or motivational

·      Being present in the moment

·      The Work, by Byron Katie

·      Focusing on the inner body

·      Doing something physical

·      Practicing gratitude

·      Going back into Purpose

I’m also learning a new form of self-healing called “tapping.”  I’m just learning about it so I’m not going to describe it here, but I’m reading The Promise of Energy Psychology by Feinstein, Eden and Craig.  I recommend this book if you want to know more.  I’ll just say that it seems to reduce anxiety, stress and other unwanted emotions.

What’s interesting about the above-mentioned methods is that none of them, except for prayer, require the direct help of other people.  Yes, I might need to be trained or to read someone’s book to learn how to do it, but eventually I do these things alone.  The advantage of this is not that I don’t need other people, but that I can practice giving to others more than asking from others.

There’s nothing wrong with asking for help from others.  When others help us, it can create healing in them, too.  There’s a saying in ManKind Project (MKP), an international men’s group I belong to:

When one man does his work, every man does his work.

What I want to get away from, however, is being constantly needy.   What I want to get to is being a constant blessing.  I think it would be wonderful that every interaction I had was a blessing to someone. 

Both Norman Vincent Peale and Deepak Chopra in The Power of Positive Thinking and The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, respectively, say that we can say a silent prayer for everyone we come in contact with, even those we pass on the street.  What a blessing it would be to be a blessing to others on a constant and regular basis.  That requires being present in every moment.  The moment I am in stuck in fear, rage or regret is the moment I stop being a blessing.  That’s also the moment I may need healing and can allow others to be a blessing to me.

Still, the ultimate goal is to be a blessing, to make the world, or my world, a better place.  This is the only life I have.  So I need to Get Started and Keep Going…because that’s my choice.