Maybe

I haven’t written in a long time.  I still write three pages (almost) every day and sometimes more, but that is for me.  This is for the world.  More importantly, it’s for my Muse.  She is waiting for me.  I usually have reasons for not writing more often:

·      I’m tired

·      I’m busy

·      I don’t know what to write

·      It’s no good

·      I’m scared.

Same old stuff as always.  The list of excuses wears thin, like an old carpet that should have been thrown out because it serves no purpose any more and it’s ugly besides.  Anything that keeps me from my Muse is ugly, even if it seems practical and reasonable.  That’s not to say my other commitments are ugly.  My Muse wants me there, too, to be a good student, to love those who are in my life, to do my best.  But in this place, with this writing, is where I connect with her best.  I just sit here and write and see what happens.  It’s like magic.  Something comes out of nothing.  But it’s not “nothing.”  It’s the power of God, of my Muse, of love, pouring out of me like rain that is pouring outside at this moment.

A friend told me a story.  He had to travel so he stayed with another friend.  When he got there, he was provided a bed, but the room was dirty, the sheets were full of animal hair, and he was left alone in a strange town while his host went out.  At first my friend was angry about this odd and uncomfortable situation but being the resilient type, he made the best of it and even made some new friends.  And he also found a new place to stay.  Was there a lesson in all this?  There can almost always be something we can learn, something that could help in the future.  Here’s what my friend learned.

1.     Maybe there’s a better plan for us.

2.     Maybe not everyone we think is a friend is really a friend.

3.     Maybe some people mean no harm, but they are distracted by sadness and frustration about parts of their lives and they aren’t thinking clearly.

4.     Maybe having a backup plan is a good idea.

5.     Maybe most things work out anyway.

6.     Maybe they work out because we make them work out.

Here’s something else.  Many of us, well, me at least, are looking for answers, for a solution to life’s problems and unexpected setbacks, delays, and discouragements.  Some of us are looking for lasting peace, purpose, and fulfillment.  Some of us are just trying to get through the day.  Some of us are trying to make a contribution or leave a legacy.  Some of us want to be noticed and loved.  (Maybe all of us, no matter how hard some try to deny that.)

Is there an answer to all or any of these desires?  Maybe there is or maybe there isn’t.  Maybe there are a lot of answers.  Maybe different answers apply at different times. Maybe the search is part of the purpose.  Maybe we’re not supposed to give up and entertain ourselves constantly so that we stay spiritually and mentally numb.  Maybe life is like a flower, beautiful, complex and simple at the same time, colorful, perfect but we need to give it some attention and appreciation.  Maybe this whole blog is just a bunch of rambling incoherent thoughts that don’t mean much other than the fact that at least I accomplished something by doing it.  Maybe I fought all my fear and laziness and did it anyway and maybe that’s one of the answers to life’s questions.  Maybe we’re supposed to Get Started and Keep Going no matter what.  Maybe.  Probably.