Sometimes it’s good to just sit
here and write and see what appears on the page. I’m not Saul Bellow’s Herzog. I’m not having an emotional breakdown. But I have been under some pressure. The job has new responsibilities and school
has started and life seems as demanding as ever, but I still feel gratitude and
joy for the opportunity to sit here and write and say, “I love you!” to my
Muse. In just a few short lines I went
from feeling tired and distracted to peaceful and excited about the possibilities
life has to offer.
Directly across
from my seat is a bookshelf full of books about history, writing, and
motivation. I feel all the
potential. My Muse knows this and that’s
why, knowing how busy I am, she still asks me to write. It’s also why she right to ask this of
me. She and I are one and she knows that
no matter how busy I get, no matter how many demands are on my time, she knows
I need to be with her. She knows that
when we are together, my energy returns, and fear, pessimism, and discouragement
leave. She makes me realize that much of
my life is just details that I need to take care of.
I need to do
certain things and do them well. I need
to do them joyfully, as if God Himself were watching me (He is). I need to study and get good grades and learn
what I need to learn. I need to become
the best I can be in my new responsibilities at work. But, again, these are just details. My real life is here...with my Muse. I’m doing the things I’m doing because they
are practical and they are good. But if
I had all the money I needed, I wouldn’t do them. I’d spend as much time with my Muse as
possible. Morning, noon, and night.
But I don’t have
all the money I need. So I must not need
it yet. I must need the things I have
now. I must need the life I have
now. Perhaps (certainly) there are
things I need to learn, personally and professionally. Perhaps (certainly) my character needs
development and maturation. And perhaps
(certainly) things happen in the right way at the right time. But it’s always time to be with my Muse. It’s always time to Get Started and Keep
Going. Now, in the past, and in the
future. The rest is just details.
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